Kara Powell and Brad Griffin recently conducted a research study to discover the greatest longings of Gen Z and the major questions surrounding them. Powell and Griffin conclude that Gen Z’s three greatest desires are:
- Identity: Who am I?
- Belonging: Where do I fit?
- Purpose: What difference can I make?1
As parents, we should ask ourselves, “Where will my teen seek to fulfill these three great desires?”
If our teens look to the culture, entertainment, friends, or themselves, they will be left wanting. But, if they look to God through Christ, they will learn that each of these longings—identity, belonging, and purpose—can be fulfilled because Christ, and the new identity he offers, is sufficient to satisfy the deepest longings of every human heart.
Identity
Knowing and understanding who they are will determine how they live and what they will pursue. The world tells our teenagers to find their identity inside themselves, to “follow their heart,” and “be true to themselves.” Yet, this “you do you” mentality will only leave them empty, broken, and unsatisfied. In stark contrast to the claims from the culture, the truth of Scripture tells our teenagers that their true identity is found in their Creator, a revelation that can enlighten and guide how our teenagers view themselves.
We see in Genesis 1-2 that their truest identity is that they are made in God’s image. Humans are the crown of God’s creation and were made to represent him by ruling and reigning over “every living thing that moves on earth” (Gen. 1:28).
But, instead of believing God’s word, Adam and Eve listened to the lie of the serpent that they could be their own god and craft their identity for themselves (Gen. 3:1-7). The results were devastating, and we have all followed suit in believing the same lie that has left us depraved, debilitated, and disintegrated from God and the rest of creation.
But God, being rich and mercy, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. By grace we have been saved (Eph. 2:4-5)! God sent Jesus to rescue us from our sin by becoming sin himself in our place on the cross (2 Cor. 5:21). Jesus is the image of God and the exact representation of the Father (Col.1:15). Through repentance and faith in him, we can be restored back into the likeness of the image of our Creator and live out the identity for which God created us.
Unlike any identity they craft for themselves, our teens’ identity in Christ will not change because it is not based on anything they do, but on what Christ has done for them. Ephesians 1:3-14 is a tapestry of divine truths of their new identity in Christ based on his life, death, and resurrection. In Christ, they have every spiritual blessing (v. 3), are holy and blameless, chosen (v. 4), adopted into God’s family as sons and daughters (v. 5), forgiven from trespasses (v. 7), given an imperishable inheritance, and sealed with the Holy Spirit as the guarantee of their inheritance for the day of redemption (v. 11-14).
Our teens need to know that Jesus died for them, not because they deserved or were worthy, but because he simply chose to love them. Remind your teens of their worth in God’s eyes. They have not been redeemed with perishable things, but with the precious and spotless blood of the lamb of God (1 Pt. 1:18-19). This is their truest identity.
Belonging
Our teenagers seek community and relationships in many ways. Some want to be on a sports team, and others want to be in the choir. At times, they can even get involved in unhealthy habits such as drugs, alcohol, partying, or dressing a certain way just to fit in and have friends. Our teenagers all want to be accepted and loved by their friends and family because they are made in the image of a loving and relational God.
God meets our teenagers’ struggles of loneliness and yearnings for community by coming down to dwell with them through his Son. Jesus is Immanuel, God with us. Through trusting in him, they will never be alone. Jesus promises that he will be with them to the very end of the age (Matt. 28:20). He has given them his Spirit to comfort, guide, and empower them to do his will.
God made them for a relationship with him and to belong to him as sons or daughters in his family. Unlike others who may change their opinions about our teens, God’s love for them has already been declared through sending his son to die for their sins on the cross. This love also is steadfast and will endure forever.
Through faith in Christ, our teenagers now belong to the family of God and are part of Christ’s body, the church. They belong both to God and one another as God is now their Father, Christ Jesus is their older brother, and the rest of the saints are their brothers and sisters. In Christ, they now have a wonderful opportunity to serve and wash the feet of their brothers and sisters and shine the light of Christ to all the nations together as a family (Eph. 3:10-11).
Purpose
Fyodor Dostoevsky said, “To live without hope is to cease to live.” If we have no objective purpose for our existence, the result is nihilism, which only leads to depression, despair, and death. Our teens are searching for their purpose in life; something that will give them meaning and a reason to wake up each morning.
While a career path, relationship, or personal skillset can be good things that can motivate us to live, these are temporal and will not last. Therefore, as the apostle Paul said, “since we have been saved in hope, we must not hope in what we see, for hoping in something we can see is not hope, but when we hope in what we can’t see, we wait eagerly for it with patience” (Rom. 8:24-25).
Similarly to identity and belonging, our teenagers find their purpose in their divine image and in having a relationship with God through faith in Christ. Their lives are not random acts of chance or a result of some blind and natural evolutionary process. Instead, they have been specifically created by God for a purpose: to glorify and enjoy him forever. God made them in his image so that they could represent and reflect his glory to the world in the way they love him, love others, and lovingly rule over his creation as his vice-regents.
The New Testament continues this theme as the apostle Paul calls Christians “ambassadors for Christ” (2 Cor. 5:20). Just as an ambassador from the United States reflects and represents America when traveling and conducting business and policies with other nations, as Christians, our teenagers are called to imitate Christ’s love, represent his character, and reflect his glory to a lost and dying world.
God has gifted our teens with specific talents and skills that he wants them to utilize to make his name great. As parents, we can encourage our teens that there is no difference between the sacred and secular when it comes to our occupation. We have all been made a kingdom of priests to serve God in a multiplicity of ways. That means every career path for a Christian should be seen as “full-time ministry.” Help your teens know that God has gifted them in specific ways so that they can minister and share the gospel with others in their whatever career field they choose.
Through faith in Christ, our teens are invited into God’s story and can be used by him to complete his plan of redemption. This purpose is eternal and intrinsically ingrained into their DNA. They were made to worship God and will only be satisfied by rejoicing, delighting in, and serving him.
Rest in Jesus
Christ offers our teenagers identity, belonging, and purpose. We must remember that this truth applies just as much to us as parents as it does to our teens. We too must rest in Jesus and know that our desires are meant to lead us to him. So, when your teen is struggling with desires for identity, belonging, and purpose, remind them of these gospel truths and to rest in Christ. As Augustine said in his Confessions, “You move us to delight in praising you; for you have formed us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.”
For more gospel-centered parenting resources, be sure to check out Rooted’s Family Discipleship Curriculum
Footnotes:
- See Kara Powell and Brad M. Griffin, 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager: Making the Most Of Your Conversations And Connections, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books), 2021.
