As youth ministers consider the research of social scientists such as Jonathan Haidt, Jean Twenge, and others surrounding teenagers and screens, practical implications for ministry abound. Rooted’s editorial team thought it would be helpful to hear from two gospel-centered youth ministers who approach this topic differently. We hope their perspectives will encourage and equip you for challenging times in youth ministry. You can read Part I of the series here.
At the start of every semester, our youth ministry team meets to map out what’s ahead, and one of the highlights we always look forward to is the fall retreat. It’s a chance to take around 50 students away from the noise of everyday life to a space where they can encounter Jesus deeply while building authentic relationships with one another. And let’s be honest, we have a lot of fun. The fall retreat is always lit, as the young people say!
Each year, during our planning meetings, the inevitable question comes up: “What do we do about cell phones?”
Historically, our rule has been simple: we only allow phones during free time. But then one of our leaders offered a perspective I hadn’t seriously considered before.
She asked, “What do we do when we have a student who’s experienced the horrors of sexual trauma, and having her phone helps her feel safe?” That question stopped me in my tracks.
The Problem with Phones on Retreats
The issue of phones goes deeper than distraction. For many students, cell phones can become an idol, serving as a source of identity, validation, and escape from a world that demands so much from them.
The scroll becomes soothing.
The likes become equivalent to hearing “I love you.”
The screen becomes a shield to hide behind when life feels overwhelming.
This generation isn’t just addicted to entertainment; they’re often enslaved by comparison, insecurity, and anxiety, all of which are fed by what they consume on their phones. Because of sin, something good (like connection or relationships) becomes ultimate, and dependence on a device replaces dependence on God.
But at the same time, we must also ask: What if that very device we’re quick to ban becomes the one thing that helps a student feel safe? What if the same phone that tempts one student toward comparison is also the phone that connects another to their counselor or caretaker or friend during a moment of emotional need?
As youth leaders, we want to create an environment where students are present, focused, and free from distractions, and we want to be sensitive to the unique social and emotional needs some of our students carry. It is easy to villainize phones, but not every student or situation requires the same response.
As youth leaders, God calls us to disciple, not just discipline. That means helping students recognize the unhealthy patterns in their phone use. I believe we can teach them how to practice wisdom, self-control, and presence, even when their phone is in their pocket.
Discipling students in a world filled with handheld devices means we have to teach them something we ourselves struggle to practice. The truth is, we’re battling the same sinful tendencies. Do I have your attention now?
Good News for Tech-Addicted Teenagers
We can’t talk about sins like idolatry, comparison, insecurity, or even addiction without also pointing to the good news of Jesus.
If we are not careful, as youth leaders, we risk using Scripture as a means towards behavior modification. But the gospel tells us that Jesus didn’t come just to manage our behavior; Jesus came to rescue our hearts. He came to set us free from the things we depend on that have no power to save us. This Good News is for our students, and for us as leaders who also struggle with idolatry, comparison, and addiction to our devices.
In a world in which students often believe their worth depends on how many followers they have or how perfect their life appears online, Jesus offers a better source of identity. Jesus offers an identity rooted in being fully known and fully loved by him.
We need to remember all of this as we navigate this gray area of phones with students, especially at youth events.
Wisdom from the Apostle Paul
According to Paul, in Christ, we are not bound by rules for the sake of rules. He writes, “‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything’—but not everything is constructive” (1 Cor. 10:23).
There is freedom in Christ, but this freedom must be balanced by wisdom and a heart for what builds up others. Just because we can do something doesn’t mean it’s the most helpful thing for everyone involved.
Paul continues: “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (1 Cor. 10:24). Considering our students, we ask, “What is the good of those we serve?” Do we take away phones in hopes to remove distractions? Let’s be honest, students get distracted by anything these days! Or do we allow them to have their phones and teach them to be good stewards? I suggest we consider the latter. Because of the gospel, we don’t have to lead from fear, but instead, we can lead out of freedom, grace, and wisdom.
Jesus meets our students right where they are, even in the messiness of screen time, comparison, anxiety, and isolation. He calls them to something better than just a phone-free weekend, but an entire life rooted in his love. A life in which their value isn’t tied to a selfie, a snap, or a story, but to the story of a Savior who laid down his life for them.
From that hope, we can lead with confidence. Taking away phones at every youth event is not a bad thing, but it may not help students learn how to actually be good stewards of their technology in daily life as we hope. Here’s what I encourage other youth leaders to consider:
1. Allow students to keep their phones.
Some students find comfort just knowing they have access to family or a counselor. For others, it’s a lifeline when anxiety or trauma surfaces. The gospel teaches us to see people, not just problems.
2. Create clear, compassionate boundaries.
Explain to students (and their parents or guardians) up front when and how phones can be used during free time, check-ins, or emergencies. Make the why clear: we want students to be fully present with God and each other. This is about forming habits of faith, not just enforcing rules.
3. Shepherd, don’t just supervise.
Frame this conversation around the gospel. Remind students that we set boundaries not to restrict joy, but to protect what really matters: their hearts, their community, and their experience of God.
4. Leave space for individual care.
Every student is different. Partner with parents ahead of time to know who may need special considerations. Make space for students who are navigating trauma or mental health challenges with gentleness and grace.
5. Model the gospel.
If we want students to see that life with Jesus is better than life glued to a screen, we have to live it in front of them. Leaders should follow the same phone guidelines and learn to be stewards ourselves. We model surrender, presence, and joy because that’s what the gospel produces.
Shepherding and Stewardship
At the end of the day, our goal isn’t simply to control technology or remove distractions; after all, removing one distraction doesn’t guarantee presence! As leaders, we can get creative with how we create space for every student to grow. We aren’t just chaperones guarding against screens—we are shepherds tending to souls.
Navigating decisions around cell phones can be tricky, but they also present opportunities to disciple students towards good stewardship of their phones in a distracting world.
We hope you’ll make plans to join us for the Rooted Conference in Chicago, Illinois, October 23-25!
