As youth ministers consider the research of social scientists such as Jonathan Haidt, Jean Twenge, and others surrounding teenagers and screens, practical implications for ministry abound. Rooted’s editorial team thought it would be helpful to hear from two gospel-centered youth ministers who approach this topic differently. We hope their perspectives will encourage and equip you for challenging times in youth ministry.
Not too long ago, our student ministry collaborated with several other churches to plan a retreat together. While walking through the campus during a scheduled free time, a realization stopped me in my tracks. With activity buzzing all around me, I noticed a group of four students playing a card game. Nothing earth-shattering, I know, but I honestly could not recall the last time I saw a group of teenagers playing a truly distraction-free game together.
Scanning the area around me took me back to my early years as a student pastor some two decades ago. In those days, the gaga ball pit was always full and surrounded by students engrossed in the game. Similarly, students used to pack the basketball and volleyball courts with non-stop action. Off the court, students fully engaged in watching the games or talking with one another. Sadly, these experiences have been less of the norm for our group since teenagers gained access to smartphones.
But on this recent retreat, I saw clumps of students and leaders sitting around fire pits laughing, roasting marshmallows, and deep in conversation. All of this offered a perspective on just how much our world has changed with the introduction and evolution of smartphones. It thrilled me to see the genuine relational interactions throughout the day, and to not see heads down with faces fixed on individual screens.
The decision to go “device-less” for that retreat had been unanimous among the group of youth ministers. Still, it involved a good bit of discussion to get there, and we received some pushback from parents and students alike. We had to work through a few issues, of course, as we fully understood the reality—and validity—of certain extenuating circumstances for a few families.
In the end, that struggle proved to be worth it, and the post-retreat feedback was overwhelmingly positive. We have not made sweeping policy decisions like this for every event, and I am certainly not offering a dogmatic position on this issue. I would simply like to share some of our reasons for going device-free, which I hope will help fellow youth ministers as you consider your next retreat or trip with students.
Students really do need a retreat.
One of the things I love most about youth retreats is the opportunity they afford students to simply get away from their familiar contexts. Jesus modeled the importance of intentionally retreating (Matt. 14:23; Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16), and I believe this is one of the reasons we often see the Spirit moving while on extended trips away from home. The prevalence of cell phones, however, can hinder that opportunity to truly get away. The same pressures, influences, and distractions students face on a daily basis stream from social media apps, messages, and notifications streaming on their devices. I have begun to wonder if it is even possible for students to truly retreat—spiritually or emotionally—if all of that travels with them on their phones.
Students need genuine embodied interaction.
As I witnessed the relational goodness going on at our recent retreat, I remembered that students need to experience what it is like to be fully present with each other in an embodied way. They need to be reminded that nothing can replace genuine fellowship free from the distractions screens present. In our smartphone world, uninterrupted, embodied relational engagement does not come naturally (for our students or for us), so we must be intentional to facilitate connection.
Even if (when) we experience initial pushback from our students, I have seen first hand that students recognize the difference and often deeply appreciate it. Additionally, one aspect of discipling teens is helping them develop a healthy ecclesiology that values embodied community, fellowship, and worship (Heb. 10:24-25; Col. 3:16).
Students need opportunities to abide in the Word.
If you have been a youth minister for any length of time, you know that doing anything completely distraction-free might as well be a fairytale! That was just as true before smartphones as it is today. Still, there are distractions we can work to minimize.
One of the primary objectives for a retreat is to really press students into God’s Word (Ps. 1:2). Perhaps our greatest desire behind going device-free on our retreat was for students to truly behold the beauty of Jesus and the powerful truth of the gospel. For both students and leaders, our capacity for prolonged meditation on God’s Word is often too easily snatched away by our preoccupation with our phones. An extended period without devices, coupled with a consistent focus on God’s Word, can help students learn to abide in God’s truth (John 15:1-17).
Students need help in developing healthy habits & margins.
As leaders, we must consider our students’ relationships with their phones in how we help them grow into lifelong disciples. Developing healthy margins is not only integral for long term spiritual health, but for mental and physical health as well. Choosing to leave devices behind for a retreat is a great way for students to realize that they can go an extended time without them. This also provides leaders an opportunity to follow up and help students consider new commitments for healthy rhythms and margins away from phones.
Parents need to exercise trust in the Lord with their children.
As my own children have become teenagers, I have been more intentional about discipling parents, and one common idol for parents (including myself) has to do with safety. The omnipresence of cell phones has only increased the attachment parents have with their children, and as a result, the desire for constant and instant access to our kids has also intensified. While this is not entirely a bad thing, it can lead to misplaced trust.
Choosing to go phone-free for a retreat is not only an opportunity to shepherd the hearts of the young people attending, but it is also an opportunity to help their parents re-orient their trust in the Lord by temporarily sacrificing that immediate connection. This requires youth ministers to outline a communication plan that allows parents to reach their children in case of an emergency. Transparency and trust is key, and taking sufficient time to present the why for this decision with parents is absolutely crucial. As always, leaders must also demonstrate grace and a willingness to work through valid special circumstances for individual families as they arise.
Gospel Benefits of Device-Free Spaces
Once again, I am not arguing that a device-free policy is the only correct decision for every youth minister, student, or retreat. I would, however, challenge every youth minister to at least consider the idea. In a day when I fear decision-making often flows out of pragmatism, I especially want to urge leaders toward intentionality that is rooted in conviction. Our aim for students is spiritual maturity, so we should seize every opportunity to help them live in alignment with that trajectory.
The why behind a phone-free retreat must be more than just doing away with the distractions and potential issues that accompany them; it must be anchored in an overarching mission to lead students to know and treasure Jesus for a lifetime.
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