My mom was the fourth youngest of fifteen children. She dropped out of high school and had my older brother and me at a fairly young age. For much of my life, I watched her fight—going back to school, working long hours, and doing everything she could to provide for us. If there is one word to describe her, it would be strong. But as I got older, I began to see something I couldn’t understand as a child: the heavy weight she was carrying.
On the surface, someone could have looked at her story and assumed her struggle was simply the result of her choices. But praise God for the people who didn’t sit back and watch her carry that weight alone. Instead, they stepped in and helped carry it with her. As an adult, I look back and reflect on her strength to carry the weight. I now know she was never meant to carry this weight alone. Somewhere along the way, I learned something from watching her—not just her strength, but the pressure underneath. I learned to carry, to perform, to prove.
When it comes to parenting, sin exposes a deeper problem in our hearts—but Scripture gives us a different picture, where our worth is not found in the weight we carry, but in the weight that Christ carried for us.
The Strength in Weakness
I had a performance mindset in adulthood, parenting, ministry, and even leadership. Sitting across the desk from a well-respected leader, I heard these words:
“I sense weak leadership.”
Those words stung. But if I’m honest, part of me knew he was partially right. Leadership is multifaceted. There are areas where I feel strong, and there are areas where I know I fall short. Later that day, I went home and prayed about the conversation. As I sat with the Lord, He brought to mind other voices—words of affirmation from adult volunteers I was leading: “You’re doing such a great job leading this ministry.” “I’ve been around ministry for a long time, and I’ve never seen great leadership like this in youth ministry.”
What struck me was where those words came from. Several of the affirmations came from those who had walked closely with me, who had seen the ups and the downs. Not only did they see it, they helped me carry it.
So which is it? Am I a weak leader… or a strong one? If I’m honest, I’m both. After that conversation, my mother was there as a soft landing spot to remind me of how strong I am. In that moment, it reminded me of her strength and resilience despite the world’s attempt to break her. It dawned on me, “This is the woman who raised me.” And as I reflected on her life, I remembered those who helped her carry the weight of parenting and didn’t just sit back and watch her struggle.
A Deeper Problem
Here’s the deeper problem: Because of sin, as parents, we are prone to measure our worth by what we carry and how well we perform. There’s a temptation to hear all the outside voices and measure ourselves based on the subjective opinions of others. I am not saying we automatically discard the opinions of others, but we have to be careful that we don’t allow those opinions to echo louder than the most important voice in our lives.
The beauty of the gospel is that it gives us a different picture of what it means to carry weight. As parents, we are taught to carry everything on our own. We’re taught to prove ourselves and to hold it all together. I am sure it was a pressure on my mom, and it certainly was one I have felt and still feel at times. But Scripture shows us that God never intended for us to live that way. In fact, one of the most powerful pictures of this comes at the very center of the gospel story.
In Luke 23:26, as Jesus is on his way to the cross. Beaten, exhausted, and carrying the weight of what no one else could carry, we read:
“As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.”
Here we have Jesus, the man betrayed by one of his disciples. Jesus, a man who was denied by another one of his disciples. Jesus, the one who stood before the council, Pilot, and Herod to be tried, and yet they found no guilt in him. Despite it all, they handed him over to be crucified! This Jesus, who is all-powerful and perfect in all his ways. Why would he need help carrying the cross? This verse humbles me, especially during those times when I feel shame and guilt for feeling weak and realizing I don’t have the answers.
A Different Picture
While pride says you should carry parenting on your own, this text gives us a different picture. It reminds us that even in the most important moment in history, the weight was not carried alone. And if that’s true for Jesus on the way to the cross, how much more is it true for us as parents?
Parenting comes with different kinds of weight. The weight of providing. Of protecting. The weight of making decisions that will shape the lives of our children. Of wondering if you’re doing enough—or if you are enough. The weight of training our children in the ways of Jesus.
When I think about the weight I carry as a parent, I think about my mom. I think about the weight she carried to provide a better life for us. She worked long hours and chipped away at her studies all while raising two boys. I think about the nights she was probably tired but still showed up. The moments she didn’t have all the answers but kept going anyway. The season where she had to parent us while battling breast cancer. I think of my grandmother, my aunties and uncles who didn’t just watch her carry the weight alone but stepped in to help carry it with her. Looking back now, I don’t just see a strong woman. I see a woman who was being carried—even as she carried us.
And that’s the beauty of the gospel. Because while Simon helped Jesus carry the physical cross, Jesus was still carrying something far greater—the weight of our sin, our shame, our striving, and our need to prove ourselves. On the cross, Jesus carried the weight we were never meant to carry.
And in exchange, he gives us something different: Rest for our weary hearts because his yoke is easy and burden is light. He gives us grace that is sufficient for every season of life. He gives us presence in the promise that he will never leave or forsake us.
Our Worth, His Weight
This means as parents, we don’t have to prove our worth through perfect parenting. We don’t have to carry every burden alone. I think about the church. The mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers that fill the pews that are supposed to help carry the weight, not add to the weight. We need more Simons and fewer Judases in our lives.
We can and should invite others into our lives—not as a sign of weakness, but as an act of faith. Because God often uses people to help carry what feels too heavy for us to hold on our own.
So, to the single parent who feels overwhelmed. To the single parent who feels like the weight is too much. And to the single parent who is trying to hold it all together. You are not alone.
Your children might not acknowledge your efforts now, but they see you just like I saw my mom. When I became an adult wrestling with the challenges of parenthood, her example is one I can draw from. Find friends who will not just watch you carry the weight of parenting but will help you carry it along the way. But even more than earthly friends, find comfort knowing that you have a friend in our Savior.
The same Savior who carried the cross for you walks with you. The same God who sustained you is still sustaining you. And the same grace that saved you is still carrying you. Because what feels heavy now… “is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
For more gospel encouragement for parenting, listen to Rooted’s two parenting podcasts: the Rooted Parent Podcast and the Asian American Parenting Podcast.
