It was a typical Monday night when I received an urgent text from one of the high school girls I disciple: “Do you mind if I come early to life group tonight? I need your advice on a friend situation.” An hour later, she’s sitting across from me at my dining room table. She told me that she needed input on a friendship struggle she was experiencing. As she shared, I petitioned the Lord: How do I help her? What can I say to encourage her?
In the past seven years of serving in youth ministry as a young adult, the Lord has taught me many things that helped to equip me for that conversation before small group. Here are five exhortations for youth ministers as we disciple teenagers.
1. Humility is Essential
When the Lord called me to serve in youth ministry, I was a new believer. I began serving as a co-leader of a middle school girls’ small group only a year into knowing Christ. But as I grew in knowledge of God’s Word, so did my pride. I couldn’t admit that I didn’t know the answer to students’ biblical questions, or I relied on my own wisdom instead of wisdom from him.
Unfortunately, this pattern continued until the Lord humbled me by exposing my pride. He reminded me of Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
As I continued to serve that same group of girls into their high school years, the Lord helped me recognize that a humble leader admits her mistakes and puts herself in the position of a learner, like her students. A humble leader says: “I don’t know. Let’s figure it out together!” Or “I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you next week on that.” By his grace, we’re called to lead in a posture of humility as we seek to walk alongside our students.
2. Authenticity Matters
Being authentic about my walk with the Lord was a challenge in my first few years as a leader. Revealing my sins and imperfections terrified me. However, the Lord gave me the courage to begin sharing snippets of my story with the students in our small group.
Sharing my own brokenness broke the barrier between us and changed our conversations. My students realized I wasn’t a perfect leader—I had my own struggles and sin patterns too. That vulnerability provided a connection point for them as they related to what I shared and began talking about their struggles.
As leaders, we must always be discerning about what we share with our students and have boundaries in place to prevent revealing too much information and burdening them. When I feel prompted by the Spirit to share about my personal life with my students, I ask myself a few questions. Have I sought counsel from trusted mentors and friends and already processed this with the Lord? Will sharing benefit my students, or am I selfishly seeking validation or sympathy? If I’m led to share, I won’t overshare by discussing every detail about the situation or circumstance. Ask the Lord to provide wisdom in navigating what details of our lives to share and what to withhold.
Honesty builds trust, and trust builds relationships. And in those relationships, we have the privilege as youth leaders of bearing the burdens of our students (Gal. 6:2) while caring for and encouraging them. As we model authenticity, our students will grow to trust us and become more willing to share about all areas of their lives with us.
3. Encourage Instead of Fix
When my students ask me for advice, I desire to craft a thoughtful response with a sprinkle of Scripture—or offer guidance and speak in the situations they’re walking through. Sometimes I’m tempted to fix their problems.
Through many unsuccessful attempts at trying to fix their problems, the Lord taught me that I can’t fix my students. I can’t force them to recognize the sin in their lives, bring them to repentance, or understand that their choices impact their walk with him.
Pointing our students to Jesus and his Word is the most loving thing we can do. Remind them that in Christ, they can walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh (Gal. 5:16). Teach them to hide God’s Word in their hearts to fight against sin (Ps. 119:11). Remind them of his forgiveness when they confess their sins and turn to him in repentance (1 John 1:9).
God’s work in my students isn’t dependent on me. His sanctifying work changes our hearts and minds to reflect him. He’s completing that same work in our students. Jesus doesn’t fix us—he redeems and restores us to himself.
4. Be Faithful in Pursuit
The Lord continues to call me to the work of making my students feel seen, known, and cared for. Still, pursuing students is challenging when everything else in their world screams for their attention. I’ve had my share of unanswered texts, canceled plans, and advice ignored. I have felt discouraged when everything I have attempted seemed to fail.
Through those failures, however, God has transformed my perspective on pursuing my students. He has showed me that faithfulness and presence is enough. I pursue my students by texting them weekly. By remembering specific details about their prayer requests and the circumstances they’re walking through, I’m able to care for them.
Reminding our students that we care and are praying for them matters. Our love for them is displayed through our presence and pursuit.
5. Don’t Give Up on Gen Z
Despite the rising number of Gen Z abandoning their faith and the church, some Gen Zers want to be discipled and desire to know God and his Word.
I’ve had the joy of walking alongside a group of girls passionate about the Lord. Their hunger to know God and his Word spills over into how they honor him. They live out their convictions. They seek out what they believe about God. Are they perfect at honoring God? No. But the spiritual fruit in their lives is evidence of his work in them as they abide in him (John 15:4-5).
Maybe you feel discouraged by the lack of enthusiasm your students show about Scripture, prayer, and other spiritual disciplines. Maybe it feels like your students are more committed to their sports teams, jobs, and hobbies than youth group. Maybe you feel disheartened by the small number of students that walk with God versus those who don’t.
Don’t give up on Gen Z. Teach them to love God with all their hearts (Matt. 22:37). Remind them that they’ve been adopted into God’s kingdom (Eph. 1:5). Teach them to root their identity in Christ (Col. 2:7). Encourage them to seek God and his kingdom first (Matt. 6:33).
Youth minister, keep pursuing and pouring into the next generation of Christ followers. Youth ministry is kingdom work that matters for eternity.
If you’re looking for more encouragement in gospel-centered youth and family ministry, join us for Rooted’s annual conference in Chicago, Illinois October 23-25, 2025.
