In 2020, as the world was navigating the global crisis of the corona virus, I was quietly experiencing my own health crisis behind closed doors. My body, once a strong and reliable force, began to fail me through a series of unexpected health ailments. In a matter of months, I lost my voice, the independence to drive, and the physical capacity to manage simple household duties, child care, and homeschooling. I grew increasingly frustrated watching my body slow down and lose the strength that once fueled my independence. Doctors could not provide clear answers to treat my symptoms. Worry and fear consumed my mind as I wrestled with my uncertain ability to care for my children.
That same year, a diagnosis of thyroid cancer led to immediate treatment: the surgical removal of my thyroid. My new dilemma was navigating family responsibilities while managing my personal healing. I absolutely resisted being a parent with physical limitations; like a child who needed help, sickness made me fragile. Moreover, I was grieving the loss of my thyroid, the gland responsible for managing the body’s energy, which manifested through daily fatigue and new challenges.
The compounded health issues I endured drove me to spiritual desperation. Here I was, in the prime years of my life, in the prime years of parenting, but unable to care for my children, who were then two, four, and six years old. In despair, I cried out to God, “How am I supposed to parent and provide for my children when I’m so weak and in the midst of a health crisis?”
It was in that place of total surrender that I found myself in the best position for God’s intervention. That state of brokenness finally allowed me to cease striving and start asking for the grace I needed. By seeing us in our weaknesses, our children can look past our limitations and recognize God as their ultimate source of strength. They gain a front row view to a perfect heavenly Father who offers an endless supply of grace for anyone ready to receive it. May my story encourage you to lean into this grace in your struggling moments.
Grace for the Weak Parent
In 2 Corinthians, Paul speaks about a thorn in his flesh; a form of persistent affliction meant to torment him. He begged with the Lord to remove it. God allowed Paul to experience his persistent affliction in order to keep him humble. The Lord tells Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).
Why does God offer grace for the weak, instead of strength? Isn’t strength the logical response to meet the needs of those who are weak? Isn’t it the strong who care for the sick, the strong who lead the lost, the strong who lift the weary? One would certainly think so! But it is in the human condition of weakness, powerlessness, and helplessness that one can truly experience God’s power. God is magnified as the one who cares for the sick, leads the lost, and lifts the weary.
For if God granted mere strength, others see the strength of man. But if he grants abounding grace, they see an almighty God. Likewise, if God gave man strength, he would boast in his own sufficiency. If God gave man grace, he would boast in the power of God.
Christian parenting has roots in the gospel’s message that our needy and inadequate nature IS precisely where God’s transforming power meets human weakness. We model this grace for our children by acknowledging our own need for him daily.
Parenting in God’s Grace
What then is God’s grace for the weak parent? How did God’s unmerited favor sustain our family during my health crisis?
First, He supplied us with tangible help. God’s provision for our family showed up through the faithful hands and feet of our community. When friends and family learned of my diagnosis, assistance poured in immediately and abundantly. People offered tangible assistance through meals for the family, child care for my countless doctor visits, and driving services for my kids. This faithful demonstration of God’s grace reinforced the promise found in Philippians 4:19: “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” In Christ, parents have access to the true source who meets real needs.
Secondly, God gave me a season of rest. While Jesus invites all tired and weary and burdened believers to find rest in him (Matthew 11:28), I simply had not known how to cast my burdens on him in my role as a full-time mother. This invitation met me as a cancer patient, where rest became a necessity and requirement for recovery. As a patient, then as a parent, I developed new skills of setting boundaries, taking breaks, and slowing down. Previously, I never would have vocalized my needs, but soon I was able to tell my family without guilt, “I can’t” and “I need help.”
True Rest
Ultimately, my need for physical rest helped me find true, spiritual rest in Jesus. This rest calls parents to put off self reliance and trust in Christ’s completed work, resulting in peace and joy even when our work is not done.
Lastly, like fragile clay in the Potter’s hand, God continued His spiritual work within me. This renewal echoes Paul’s encouragement in 2 Corinthians 4:16, where he reminds us: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” Though my body suffered illness, my inner self found hope in the enduring promises of God’s Word.
He replaced my discontentment with gratitude, discouragement with hope, and anger with gentleness. All glory to God, as the psalmist writes: “though my flesh and my heart may fail, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26).
A New and Better Way to Parent
Parenting in sickness became the thorn which kept me humble in disposition and reliant on God’s daily provision. Praise be to God, the calling to raise children is not defined by one’s challenging circumstances, but is strengthened by the God who equips the called. My broken body became a visible testimony of his sufficient grace displayed in human weakness. This divine grace is the hope for any parent who is exhausted, running low on patience, or struggling to endure.
If you’re looking for more Gospel-centered encouragement in parenting, check out Rooted’s Parent Podcast.
