Long before the parental boundary of “screen time” became a household idea, most teenagers would spend their evenings watching the prime time nightly television shows. I was no different. If I wasn’t out with my real friends driving around, living life and making memories, then I was home watching my television friends do the same. I am a connoisseur and product of shows like Friends, ER, The West Wing, The Office, etc. If all of those shows had one thing in common, it would be this: It was never about one character, it was always about the ensemble cast.
This is how I came to view not only my role in my friends’ lives, but also my role on a church staff as a youth minister. I was a part of an ensemble alongside my friends, my co-workers, my students, and our volunteer team. I have a memory of walking down the church hallway with a crew of young volunteers and students as we prepared to put on a large event, and one of them said behind me, “Becca, I feel like we are doing a “walk-and-talk” from West Wing, and you’re President Bartlet”.
My heart grew three sizes that day.
Because I tend to thrive on a team with shared leadership and ownership, I came into ministry expecting that to be the case for everyone else. We are God’s children after all, brothers and sisters in Christ before any other title or identity, so wouldn’t we all want to work together? And couldn’t we work together more fruitfully if we committed to deepening our friendships with one another?
Same Team, Same Kingdom Work
And yet, here lies the hardship for many women in ministry: we are invited into one room at a time, or on a case by case basis. We receive a proverbial folding chair to pull up to the table for conversations and decision-making. And when our conversation concludes, and with it the very specific decision, we experience an implied expectation that we fold up the chair, and walk back out of the room until someone calls on us again.
As someone who thrives as part of an ensemble, this was and is by far the place where my wounds are deepest, and yet also where my hope for the future of the Church shines brightest. Genesis 2:18 tells us that God created the woman to be a “help” because the man should not be alone. While we often chalk this text up to a homily for weddings or to jump start seasons of small group recruitment, it carries a much deeper weight for how God calls us to represent him in the world.
Regardless of where each of us lands theologically regarding women in ministry, Scripture is clear that God calls men and women to do the work of the kingdom together side by side. Unfortunately, many women in ministry experience a lack of care, a lack of curiosity, and a lack of acknowledgement by the very churches who called them to serve in their ministries. Providing more conferences, resources, or books will not make up for this lack. We have kingdom work to do, and it will require both men and women to do it with the fullness that God intends.
What It Means to Be A Helper
It speaks to the fallenness of the world that some men have experienced my presence in leadership conversations as questionable or concerning. Instead, I long for us to feel confident to work side by side based on our shared call as image-bearers. We must consider the ways in which both the world and the church have sometimes considered women “too emotional,” “too distracting” to men with whom they lead, or “too domineering” in their desire to study Scripture. These unfair perceptions have ushered many godly women out of the rooms where decisions are made, away from a seat at the table.
This fallen dynamic goes directly against the created design of women. When God calls the woman a “helper” in Genesis 2:18, the Hebrew word used is עֵ֫זֶר (ezer), which means “to help.” God calls women to help alongside our brothers. As someone who loves to discern and help in all situations, this character trait is one I deeply enjoy. But, a deeper study of this word, tells us our long standing definition of “help” is much too small for what God intends this role to be.
Ezer (עֵ֫זֶר) surfaces another dozen or so times throughout the Bible to refer to the way God shows up for his people in times of distress and war. It is a word of strength that shows our great need for him to show up, fight for us, and save us. Therefore, let us consider that God’s use of this word to describe the work of women paints a call for sisters to have a voice, and to work alongside the brothers who have been called as well. (See Carmen J. Imes’ article for more on the use of Ezer (עֵ֫זֶר).)
For many readers this may not be new truth. But as a woman in ministry for more than twenty years, I still feel the need to bring my own proverbial chair to meetings to make myself small (which is hard when I’m almost six feet tall) in the room so as not to frighten or make waves or cause those questionable concerns to take root. So it is a truth I need to hear repeated—and maybe you do as well. Women are a part of God’s plan to build and usher in his Kingdom of the new heavens and the new earth. Our role is no less valuable, less important, or less needed than the role of our brothers. By God’s sovereign grace, we are both called and necessary for the fullness of his plans to come to fruition.
Encouragement for Men and Women
My sisters, may you discover, find, and help build those tables that have a permanent place for your chair in your ministry. And may God strengthen you to serve alongside our brothers who have welcomed you and built the table with you. If God has called you to serve at a table with only a folding chair, serve with boldness, curiosity, and a full heart toward the ministry that God has called you to, knowing he will sustain and support you. Our Father does not call us to a place that he has not already prepared for us, so he will sustain you even in the hardest seasons.
My brothers, the world would tell you that men and women are often at odds, but the blood of Jesus has taken on the curse of our sin and his resurrection leads the way for us to have titles of brothers and sisters, coheirs in the kingdom. Pray for your sisters whom God has called to ministry just as he has called you. Prepare places for them to serve. Work to ensure others acknowledge them, that the church holds them in high regard and to high accountability, just as it holds you. Whatever your theology about women’s roles in the church, Scripture teaches that God has made your sisters in his own image (Gen. 1:27). Therefore, see us as we see you—sinners saved by grace, called to do the work of the kingdom with King Jesus sitting at the head of our shared table.
May it be so, Amen.
If you’re looking for leadership coaching for gospel-centered ministry, consider applying for our youth and family ministry mentorship program.
