We hope you will join us for Rooted 2025 in Chicago October 23-25. We offer a variety of workshops for youth pastors and parents. This year, we are excited to offer “Helping Teenagers Connect Body Image Struggles To God’s Word” taught by Andrea Lee, a certified Biblical Counselor.
As a preview of Andrea’s workshop, we’ve asked her to write an article that can help equip parents and youth ministers who work with teens struggling with body image issues. We hope her words bless you in your ministry, and we look forward to seeing you in Chicago!
“I hate my body.” If a teenager trusts you enough to say these words, you might feel many emotions. It could be thankfulness that they opened up, compassion for their suffering, and a rush of energy to help. But realizing that your teen is suffering could also cause panic in your heart. Whether you are a parent or a youth minister, you desperately wish they didn’t have to wrestle with this pain. You may wonder if you could have helped prevent this struggle.
But not all teenagers will be so explicit about their body image struggles. You may only hear occasional comments before important events, when clothes become a bit snug, or when relationships are tough. But even if they don’t state it directly, many teens feel dissatisfied and anxious about their bodies and how they look.
Maybe fear and uncertainty are also swirling in your heart as you think about what to say to your teen. Many parents and youth ministers don’t quite know where to start the conversation. God’s Word can equip you to be the voice of hope, comfort, and truth when you speak with a teenager you love about body image issues.
Abounding in Hope
You’ll need a solid foundation of hope as you engage with your teen. Parenting and mentoring teens already feels overwhelming as you navigate a flood of changing emotions, relationships, and interests. Body image might feel like yet another area you’re unequipped to face. God will honor your willingness to wade in and give your teenager hope and comfort. As you seek wisdom from God’s word, you will be preparing for significant conversations. When the moment of vulnerability or pain or confusion comes, you will be ready with truth.
You also won’t have the conversation alone. The Holy Spirit is with you. He will use God’s word and your love to plant seeds of truth in your teenager’s heart. The growth and fruit of those seeds is up to the Lord, but your care and wisdom in these crucial conversations will honor the Lord and give your teen a foundation of truth to build on.
Romans 15:13 is a verse I often pray as I begin counseling someone new: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” This is what I want for you and your teenager. I want our God of hope to fill you with joy and peace as you cling to his character and promises. I want you to experience the power of the Holy Spirit working through His word so that you overflow with hope. When you do, the pressures you face as a parent or mentor and the pressures your teen faces won’t swamp either of you. You’ll have the confidence you need to work through this weighty topic with God’s help.
Sharing God’s Comfort
No matter the particular physical feature your teen is lamenting, you can share truth from God’s word that can interrupt the critical self-talk. The passages you share may not deliver immediate comfort, but they will guide the conversation toward God and the promises He makes. I love to share Romans 8:35, 38-39 with hurting teenagers. God says that when we repent and believe the gospel, we are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ and nothing can separate us from his love. Nothing. Not the judgment of others. Not our own self-loathing thoughts. Not the physical feature we think is a mistake. Nothing. God’s care for us isn’t tied to a number on the scale or the size of our clothes or the tone of our muscles.
We need God’s help to believe this truth and to find comfort in his love. When we remind teens to talk to God about how easily they get stuck in a cycle of self-hatred, we give them hope. We can encourage teens to ask God to satisfy them every day with his steadfast love and to give them joy in him (Ps. 90:14).
Believing God’s love and drawing joy from him don’t happen overnight. It happens as we regularly put our focus on our lovely God and appreciate his outstanding beauty (Ps. 27:4, 77:12-13). God delights to open the eyes of our hearts so we see him as he really is (Eph. 1:18-19). As he does, our focus shifts away from our bodies, how we compare with others, and what our friends think about our appearance. We are freed to enjoy God’s creation and gifts through our physical bodies and to use our bodies to serve others.
Standing On Truth
Some teenagers feel like they are walking a runway every day. But instead of displaying fashion trends in front of an adoring crowd, they see mocking faces, pointing fingers, and snickers of ridicule. Teens need to know they have a much bigger and more glorious purpose than having the ideal appearance and the praise of others. They have been given the good gift of a physical body for the purpose of imaging God. He created and redeemed them so that they can reflect and represent him.
We want teens to embrace this truth: “God says my purpose is much bigger than trying to be attractive. God made me to show who He is and what He is like.” This can seem abstract. Here are some ways to make it concrete. (Not all these ways are available to everyone, but I hope at least a few are accessible to your teen.)
- I can use my mouth to smile and welcome others
- I can use my words to encourage and highlight the gifts, effort, and skills of others
- I can use my legs to do chores around the house or help a neighbor
- I can use my arms to hug my parents and siblings or to hold a baby
- I can use hands to make a meal or clean up a mess or help with a project
- I can present my whole body as a living sacrifice to God as my act of worship (Rom. 12:1)
Considering The Whole
The truth is that we cannot reduce the value of our bodies to their attractiveness. God crafted our bodies with intention and care. Our value comes from God, not the approval of others or our own evaluation. God created us to bear his image so we can show his beauty. He is the most loving, the most forgiving, the most merciful One in the universe. We can show teenagers how to imitate this beautiful God as we ourselves offer the message of hope, comfort, and truth that God gives in his word.
