Trying to rank the most pressing questions facing Christianity today feels like an impossible task. Despite this, I have a hunch if you asked a hundred youth workers what pushbacks or critiques against Christianity they get most often, “aren’t’ Christians just bigots?” would be a consistent theme. Whether or not your students have asked you this question, I am willing to bet they feel it. It may come to them in the form of a classroom discussion, or maybe they’ve scrolled by yet another TikTok explaining the wicked, outdated, oppressive, and yes, bigoted, nature of Christianity.
I’ll be honest, this question stings. There is an inward part of me that cringes at this pushback. I’m not sure anybody wants to be labeled a bigot. It’s a very difficult accusation to respond to. Do we need a well crafted monologue? Should we frantically explain all the positive movements in which Christianity has played a major role, such as human rights, literacy, education, and hospitals? Or should we apologize and try to change topics?
I don’t think any of these are particularly great options. Instead, if we slow down, think carefully, and engage this question, I believe we can find a path forward that, like Christ, is marked by grace and truth (John 1:14). If we’re going to address this issue, we need to clarify our terms, recognize the cultural moment, and ultimately point our students to the beauty of Jesus and the gospel.
What do we mean by “bigot”?
What are people actually saying when they refer to Christians as bigots? A bigot can be thought of as “a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, and is intolerant toward different perspectives and people who hold them.” Another way of saying this: bigotry is not just believing in something strongly, but it’s believing in something strongly and then hating, being dismissive, or oppressive towards people who think differently than you do.
Now, it can get a little sticky here because there seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding in our culture. Holding a belief different from someone else’s is not bigoted! Our culture often equates disagreement with hatred: If you disagree with me, that means you hate me! Simply having a biblical sexual ethic, for example, can be perceived as hateful. Unfortunately, this perception comes into play whether or not you’ve actually expressed hatred.
Our culture has a habit of equating agreement with love and disagreement with hatred. That’s why many people assume that if Chrisitans believe things like the exclusivity of Christ (John 14:6) or a traditional biblical view of marriage and sexuality, that Christians must be hateful, bigoted people. We need to help our students understand that this accusation is more often than not based on cultural assumptions, not necessarily how Christians have actually treated others or felt about other people.
Jesus wasn’t a bigot, and we shouldn’t be either.
The best thing we can do for our students who are doubting or skeptical about the claims of Christianity is to point them back to Jesus. Jesus perfectly embodied both truth and love! Jesus never compromised on God’s design for human flourishing. He found a way to communicate truth without dismissing or dehumanizing people who either think differently or struggle with sin.
Jesus was hated, but never because he was bigoted. Jesus was firm in his call to repentance, yet he dined with sinners. Jesus perfectly upheld God’s moral law, but simultaneously extended radical grace to the broken. Jesus’s example gives us a perfect model for engaging with our culture’s accusations of bigotry. Like Christ we can model both compassion and conviction. We can show our students that we can be known for uncompromising conviction, yet never known for cruelty or hatred.
We can love without affirming.
One way we can follow the example of Christ and teach our students how to engage is to show them a better way to approach sensitive topics. I mentioned earlier that for our culture, agreement means love. Another way of saying this would be that loving someone always means fully affirming their beliefs, choices, and desires. But is this really what love is?
We can help our students think through this paradigm. We can walk our students through a hypothetical. Imagine they have a friend who struggles with alcoholism. It’s heavy, but this subject started heavy. This friend of theirs is stealing money from his parents to feed the addiction, has withdrawn from friends and those who care, and is starting to fail classes in school. Would the loving thing be to affirm this friend in his behavior? I hope the student would say no! My son asks me nearly every morning if he can have chocolate for breakfast. I don’t think anyone would say I am unloving by refusing to affirm my child’s requests.
Loving someone can’t mean agreeing with everything a person believes or wants. Loving someone means seeking his or her ultimate good. As Christians we know that real human flourishing is found only in obedience to God, not by living our personal “truths” (John 8:31-32). This should be freeing for our students in their questions. As Christians we can love people deeply without affirming everything they think or do. We can sit with friends who disagree with us, listen to them, show kindness, and still be uncompromising in our biblical convictions.
Christians are not all bigoted, but some Christians are unkind.
It’s unfortunately true that sometimes Christians do come across as bigoted. In some cases Christians are labeled as bigots not just because of our beliefs, but because of their attitudes and actions. There have been times, both in history and contemporary contexts where Christians have been cruel, dismissive, and arrogant.
When confronted with these examples, we can and should show our students that we can call a spade a spade. Cruelty is never to be tolerated. But if we focus on winning arguments more than winning hearts, we will find ourselves discipling Christians capable of casual cruelty. Like Christ we can show our students how to speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Instead of mocking or ridiculing, we can stand firm in our convictions while remaining dispositionally loving.
God invites us to respond like Jesus.
So when students ask you, “how do I respond when someone says Christians are bigots?” You can provide them with a few key things to help them respond. First, ask questions. Kindly, turn the question back on the person bringing the accusation. Questions like, “what do you mean by bigot?” “Have you had personal experience with a Christian who was unkind?” “Do you think it’s possible to disagree with someone and still love them?” These types of questions serve two purposes. They help to clarify what the conversation is actually about, and help to engage the skeptic conversationally instead of combatively.
Second, acknowledge failures. Sometimes, the accusations against specific Christians or Christian movements are valid. We can confidently admit when words or actions have been hurtful—because our hope has never been in the ability of those professing Christ to live up to the call. Our hope is in Jesus’ death and resurrection. Further, in acknowledging failures we can move the conversation from individual acts of hatred to a conversation about Jesus and Christianity itself. Just because a frame is cracked doesn’t mean that the picture is also. Acknowledging failures can help us move toward looking at the picture.
Third, clarify what love really means. Love isn’t just affirmation of a person’s beliefs and behaviors. There are plenty of examples our students can know and learn to demonstrate. For instance, students can love and care for their friends who struggle with harmful habits while still encouraging them towards what is good. A student can love a friend who struggles with lust while still encouraging that friend to seek purity. Another great example people will readily accept is that of a parent. Good parents do not affirm every desire their children have! In fact a parent who only enables the desires of their children can be said to be a bad parent! Despite this denial of enabling desires, the love of the parent is unquestionable. I’ve found this to be a really effective part of the conversation.
Last, point to Jesus. If someone really wants to see this uncompromising love in action, look at Christ. Jesus never wavered in his convictions. He is truth. And Christ is kind.
We give teenagers the hope of the gospel.
Christ isn’t to be followed lightly. There is no guarantee it will make us popular or loved. We follow Christ because he is the true, the good, and the beautiful. If we want our students to be anchored and firm in a culture that often mislabels convictions as bigotry, we need to strongly anchor our students with the love of Christ, the truth of Scripture, and the power of the gospel.
No, Christians who hold biblical conviction in love are not bigots. We are sinners saved by grace. In a world that is so desperate for love and truth, we have an incredible opportunity to train our students to show that love and truth are only found in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
If you’re looking for help to teach teenagers the Bible, consider Rooted’s Bible-based curriculum, available on Rooted Reservoir.
