Fellow parents of teenagers, I have a confession: I am afraid. My son just started his freshman year of high school. I am afraid and anxious about him fitting in, finding community, balancing work and play, and making wise, God-honoring decisions. My son also recently got his first smartphone (don’t ask me how my wife and I were able to hold out for this long. It’s a miracle!) I’m anxious about the online world his phone now exposes him to. I’m afraid that I will not have what it takes to parent my son well through these changes and challenges.
While your fears as a parent might not look the same as mine, all parents wrestle with an ever-present fear and anxiety about the well-being of our children. Regardless of what our fears and uncertainties look like, the gospel invites us into a bigger and better story. The gospel invites us to behold and believe that God’s presence is sufficient in moments of fear and uncertainty in our parenting.
The Reality of Our Fears
The Bible, God’s living and enduring Word, never seems to minimize, downplay, or shy away from the reality of fear. Scripture gives us snapshots of how fear and uncertainty play out in the lives of God’s people. In Psalm 34, David praises God by saying, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears (vs. 4).” In another instance, David confesses, “When I am afraid, I trust in you” (Ps. 56:3). One of the most often repeated phrases in the Bible is “do not fear” (Gen. 15:1; Ps. 46:2; Isa. 41:10, 43:1; Mk. 5:36; Lk. 2:10; 2 Tim. 1:7; Heb. 13:6).
God’s Word invites us to be honest about our fears and uncertainties. They do not annoy or burden our Heavenly Father. God is never naive, aloof, or distant when we come to him with our fears and worries. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Psalm 34:18 declares over us, “Because the LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” It is precisely our honesty and humility that draws him near to us.
Fellow parents, we can be honest with God about our anxieties regarding our children’s future. We can be honest with God about our fears over our children falling into destructive habits and making bad decisions. We can be honest with God about all the messy and complex relationships that our children will have to navigate. We can draw near to God with our cries to keep our children in the faith. Our Abba Father has room in his heart for all of our fears, worries, and anxieties.
The Response to Our Fears
Not only are we invited to bring our whole selves before our Heavenly Father, God’s Word offers a way to respond to our fears and doubts. We respond to the presence and reality of our fears by fearing the Lord instead of our circumstances. David writes in Psalm 34:8-9, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed in the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack.”
Our fears have a way of commanding our attention and demanding our allegiance. They captivate our minds, hearts, and imagination. They have the power to shape our lives. Our fears have a way of reminding us more often than we’d like to admit that we are not in control.
So then, to fear the Lord means that we give more and more of our attention and allegiance to our Heavenly Father instead of our circumstances. We allow him – his grace, his goodness, his character, his promises – to captivate our minds and hearts, and shape the way we respond to our fears. We allow his thoughts to matter far more than anyone or anything else. Fear of the Lord reminds us that though we might not be in control, we know the One who is completely and totally in control.
To fear the Lord is an invitation to taste and see that the Lord is good and that he makes good on his promises. God created us to experience and taste his goodness, kindness, and love. And sometimes, God uses moments of fear and uncertainty to bring that about.
Over the years, one of the most helpful and practical ways I’ve learned to fear the Lord instead of my circumstances is to ask others for prayer. I don’t know about you, but when I am afraid or anxious my tendency is to isolate. And when I isolate, my fears and anxieties wage war on my mind and assault me with questions of what if’s, what could’s, and what should’s.
But when I invite others to walk alongside me in prayer, I expose the fearful thoughts that are hidden in the dark and bringing it to light. When I invite others to pray, I am reminded of God’s precious truths and promises that can crowd out the noises of fear, anxiety, and unbelief. These are the moments when God’s goodness, kindness, and love are made tangible.
The fear of the Lord has a way of pushing out all other fears. The fear of the Lord has a way of creating less and less space for all other fears because the spaces of our minds and hearts are occupied by his goodness, his care, his faithfulness, and his love.
The Remedy for Our Fears
How can we be so sure and confident of God’s goodness and care for us in the midst of our fears about our children? We don’t need to search far and wide for the answer – we only need to look to the cross of Jesus Christ. On the cross, Jesus endured innumerable afflictions. He was trampled upon, oppressed and attacked by men. He was mocked, insulted, spat upon, ashamed, beaten, and ultimately put to death on a cross. Jesus was an innocent man dying a criminal’s death, bearing the weight of our sin, shame, and guilt.
And yet, make no mistake: Jesus’ life was not taken from him; he offered it up willingly and gladly so that we would never be forsaken and abandoned in our times of afflictions and fear. When we cry out to Jesus for deliverance and rescue in the presence of our fears and anxieties for our children, the gospel assures us that our cries will never fall on deaf ears.
Oftentimes, it’s through our fears and uncertainties that we get to taste and see the radiance and brilliance of God’s grace for us in Christ Jesus more clearly. Fellow parents, may the presence and reality of fears in this passing world have a way of reminding us that Jesus has overcome the world; so fear not (Jn. 16:33). May the presence and reality of worries for our children’s well-being have a way of reminding us that we have a good and gracious Father who knows us the best and loves us the most; therefore, do not be anxious (Matt. 5:26). May the presence and reality of uncertainties have a way of reminding us that God is always up to something beautifully redemptive for our good and for his glory; so, do not be discouraged (Rom. 8:28). May we learn to fear the Lord in moments and seasons of fear and uncertainty so that we can live in the fullness of the sufficiency of God’s grace and love.
Parents, we hope you’ll join us for our 2024 Conference in Dallas, TX.
