Kristen Hatton, M.A., LPC, is a professional counselor and author passionate about helping families. Her books include Parenting Ahead, Get Your Story Straight, Face Time, and The Gospel-Centered Life in Exodus for Students. She lives with her pastor-husband, Pete, in Dallas, Texas, and together they have three young adult children, a son-in-law and daughter-in-law. For more of Kristen’s work, visit her website www.kristenhatton.com and the @Redemptiveparenting Instagram account.
Without the hope of Jesus’ work and worth on our behalf, we are left enslaved, but the gospel frees us from the need to strive or to prove ourselves.
The solution to the hungering for more can only be found in the one who was perfect for us. Everything else is fleeting, a golden calf that instead of giving us what we think it can, ends up controlling us.
The answer then to perfectionism is not working harder but resting in Jesus’ work and worth. Our perfection—our identity and worth—is found in his. Whether or not we or our children achieve certain goals, are honored or noticed for our accomplishments, or perfectly excel at anything are not what gives us value.
In Christ, you have God’s perpetual smile. Nothing you did earned his favor, and nothing you failed to do can take it away.
What we as adults often fail to recognize is how the very teaching we believe is necessary for shaping “good” kids actually drives them away from Jesus.
If parents understand our own heart’s bent, we should be able to enter in alongside our teenagers with compassion rather than condemnation.
