When I pulled up to the school to drop off my daughter, I noticed a friend standing outside his car, pacing back and forth. I parked the car and run through my checklist: book bag, check; lunch box, check; water bottle, check. Oh, and I can’t forget the most important thing: my daughter.
Rushing in the mornings, getting our respective items together, trying to drop my daughter off on time, and making it to work on time myself can be overwhelming. I am known to forget something. As I get out of the car, I said hello to my friend. Heading into the school, I hugged my baby girl, kissed her on the forehead, and gave her our secret handshake that we do every morning that ends with us saying, “Give God the glory,” and pointing in the air.
I left out and my friend was still pacing back and forth outside. I stopped and asked, “Is everything ok?” He responded, “Yes, I am fine, just letting me son sleep in the car for a few before I take him into the school. We had a full weekend of basketball games and didn’t get home until late.”
Then he said something that really made me think. He said, “We have our son in so many things that I feel like we are overcommitted and underdelivering.”
As a parent you may have had a similar feeling. Maybe it’s not allowing your kid to sleep extra in the car outside of school because of a busy weekend, but maybe it is pulling into the driveway at 8pm having chauffeured your kid to soccer practice and piano lessons, and then having to complete a school project —only to have to go to sleep, wake up, and do it all over again.
Busyness was a problem that played like a broken record for the parents I served when I was a youth pastor. In fact, my friend’s words about being overcommitted often ring true in my life as a parent. At times I feel like busyness could be a soundtrack for my relationship with Jesus. I can hear the Savior saying, “Look at my talented son. I just wish he had more time for me.”
In the words of my spiritual father, “God is not impressed with your abilities, it’s your availability he desires.” Parents, we are the primary disciplers of our children, but I wonder what type of disciples we are making.
In the midst of our overloaded schedules, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most. If we are not careful, we can lead our children to be disciples of busyness and not disciples of Christ. True commitment should prioritize what matters most: our relationship with Jesus. Overcommitment —even to good things —can distract us and our children from the better choice: sitting at the feet of Jesus and nurturing our faith.
In Luke 10:38-42 we read about Jesus’ interaction with Martha and Mary. Jesus is on his journey through Jerusalem. Scripture says that Jesus and his disciples arrive at a village where Martha welcomes Jesus into her home. Two sisters, Martha and Mary, have two different ways to interact with Jesus. One sister, Mary, stops what she’s been doing and sits at Jesus’ feet. Meanwhile, Martha is distracted doing what seems to be important.
As parents called to faithfully disciple our children not only by communicating the truths of Scripture but also by modeling truth with the way we live our lives, there are three things you and I should consider: prioritizing relationship over activity, recognizing the danger of distraction, and teaching rest in Christ amidst busyness.
Prioritize Relationship Over Activity
Sports have played and still do play a significant role in my life. I am not sure if I would be where I am now if not for sports being in my life. There are so many valuable lessons young people can learn from participating in extracurricular activities. However, we have to be careful what we are prioritizing.
When Jesus enters their home, the text says that Mary sits at Jesus’ feet while Martha is distracted serving. Jesus affirms Mary’s choice to be present with him, teaching us that while activities and responsibilities are good and important, they should not come at the expense of our relationship with God. To Martha Jesus says , “…you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better…” As parents, we need to help our children balance their commitments, ensuring that their relationship with Christ remains at the center. We can’t effectively do this if it is not a practice in our own lives.
Recognize the Danger of Distraction
There is a reason texting and driving is discouraged on the road. Texting causes us to take our eyes off the road thus putting us in harm’s way. We recognize the danger of distraction while driving which can cause an accident.
In the same way, we must recognize the danger of distractions that cause us to take our eyes off Jesus. Martha’s distraction by her many tasks reflects how easily we can be pulled away from what matters most. Extra-curricular activities, though valuable, can lure us away from spiritual growth. This is true for our children and it is also true for us as parents. We must recognize when our family’s schedule has become overburdened and help our children refocus on their spiritual walk with Jesus. Otherwise, we will be pacing back and forth in the school parking lot so that our kid can get extra sleep before school.
Teach Rest in Christ Amidst Busyness
There is a saying that goes, “more is caught than taught.” In other words, one of the best teaching tools is how we live our lives. Jesus invites Martha to slow down from the good things she was doing to choose the “better part,” rest and connection with him. Mary, through her actions, teaches Martha what it looks like to value rest and stillness before Jesus in the midst of a busy life. In the same way, we as parents can model for our children, by the way we live our lives, the importance of rest and stillness before God, even in the midst of a busy life. In a world full of activity, true peace and fulfillment come from being grounded in Christ, not from constant busyness.
The gospel of this world is “save yourself through busyness” which can lead to exhaustion and anxiety. The gospel of Christ is “Jesus has saved you,” so you can rest. The world says, “come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you more work to do.” Christ says, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). The gospel of the world is about doing but the gospel of Christ is about being. The gospel is rest, and his rest is the “Good portion that will not be taken away” (Luke 10:42).
Hear Isaiah Marshall at the 2024 Rooted Conference in Dallas Texas, October 24-26!