The classic novel Les Miserables has not lost its luster, even at almost 200 years old. One of its memorable moments is when vagabond Jean Valjean robs a local priest of his silver after the priest had taken him in for the night. Later the authorities catch Valjean and bring him back to the scene of the crime. Amazingly, the priest affirms Valjean’s lie that the priest gave him the silver. Then the priest even asks Valjean why he did not take the candlesticks as well.
Instead of reclaiming his stolen possessions and condemning Valjean, the priest forgives Valjean and graciously blesses him with more wealth. The priest does not deal with Valjean according to his sin, but he treats him better than he deserves.
In a much greater way, God treats us better than we deserve. In Psalm 103, David writes, “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities” (v. 10). It’s a message for us as children of God and truth to share with the children God gave us.
God has always treated his people better than we deserve by graciously forgiving us of our sins. God revealed himself to Moses as the faithful, covenant-keeping God, who is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love (Ex. 34:6-7). In Ezra’s generation God punished Israel for their idolatry but graciously redeemed them from Babylonian captivity, bringing them back to the Promised Land. Instead of forsaking his people, God graciously restored them, treating Israel better than they deserved (Ezra 9:13).
In Psalm 103, David sees that if God counted Israel’s sins against them, no one could stand. Yet, though we have all fallen short of God’s glory and deserve his just wrath in hell, God graciously chooses to forgive us (v. 3-4). How and why does God treat us better than we deserve?
God did not repay the Israelites according to their sins because he chose to be faithful to his covenant with their father Abraham (Gen. 15). By design, God would keep the covenant stipulations for both parties, and if either he or Abraham did not keep the covenant terms, God would take on the covenant curses. Through the covenant God knew his Son, Jesus Christ, would be the one who would pay for Israel’s disobedience in full. God passed over the former sins of Israel, because he knew that they would be paid for through Christ (Rom. 3:25-26).
In the same way, God treats us better than we deserve, because our sin was paid for by Christ (Eph. 1:7; Mark 10:45). God does not excuse our sin, but he releases us from our condemnation, because Jesus has taken the condemnation for our sin in full (Rom. 8:1-4). Therefore, God can shower us with grace and mercy and not treat us according to our sins and iniquities (Eph. 1:8; 1 Pet. 2:24). Essentially, God treated Jesus, who knew no sin, like he lived our sinful lives, so that we, who knew no righteousness, can be treated as if we lived Jesus’ life (2 Cor. 5:21). This great exchange is why the gospel is so good!
In light of this Good News, I want to offer three applications for parents:
Bless the Lord
David wrote Psalm 103 to bless the Lord for the greatness of who he is and what he has done. Likewise, our first response to the fantastic benefit of God’s grace and mercy must be worship. So, stop right now, and worship the Lord—seriously—do it! Praise God for not dealing with you according to your sins. Bless him for not pouring his holy wrath upon you and repaying you for your iniquities. Extol Jesus for his being treated according to your sins and iniquities in your place. Bless the Lord with your entire being!
Grace for Sinners
Second, Psalm 103 encourages us that when we fail to reflect our heavenly Father in loving and parenting our children, Jesus has taken the condemnation, guilt, and shame for our sins and shortcomings. Through repentance and faith in Jesus, we receive grace, mercy, and compassion from our Father. Therefore, we must rest in the gospel and finished work of Christ.
Not only do we receive forgiving grace because of Jesus’s life, death, resurrection, and ascension, but we also receive empowering grace. We have a great high priest who intercedes and advocates for us daily before the Father and can strengthen us and help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:14-16; 7:25). As parents we can exercise empowering grace by doing things like being patient with our children when they refuse to listen, showing compassion instead of condemnation.
Imitators of God
Third, through the empowering grace of Jesus and the indwelling strength of the Holy Spirit, we can imitate God as his beloved children in the way we parent our kids (Eph. 5:1). Just as God has treated us better than we deserve, we should also treat our children better than they deserve. I am not advocating that we stop disciplining our kids. We still need to exhibit the grace of discipline with our children, because in this way, we imitate our heavenly Father. Discipline demonstrates our love for them by helping them learn from their mistakes and leading them in righteousness (Eph. 6:1-4; Heb 12:3-11).
However, there are times when we need to show our kids the same unmerited favor that God has shown us in Christ. It’s not because they have earned it but solely because of our free choice to show them mercy. Showing grace also reflects the gospel truth of God’s mercy to us through our Savior, Jesus.
Les Miserables’ Jean Valjean responds to the grace he receives by later demonstrating grace through self-sacrifice to his daughter and future son-in-law. My prayer is that we would likewise respond to God’s grace by treating our kids and loved ones better than they deserve.
For more gospel-centered parenting resources, check out Rooted’s Family Discipleship Curriculum.
