When We Don’t Know What the Future Holds For Our Children

nativity

There are periods during parenthood when we aren’t sure what the future holds. The obstacles we face in parenting may include illness, behavioral battles, or developmental delays. One moment we feel confident in their direction and the next moment we question what will become of our children. 

A recent Christmas classic, Mary Did You Know by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene, explores the perplexity of whether Mary fully grasped the task of being a mother to Jesus. The lyrics pose a series of questions: did Mary know Jesus would save our sons and daughters? Walk on water, heal the sick, be heaven’s perfect lamb? That he would one day save all the nations? As a parent this song resonates with me in the depths of my soul. Like Mary, I vividly remember treasuring quiet moments as I rocked my own children to sleep, not fully knowing what was to come. 

The song wonders how we parent our children with so little information about their future. A closer look a Mary’s parenting provides us a wonderful example of not fully knowing the weight of raising Jesus but trusting God in her times of uncertainty and suffering.

We wonder what Mary, who was merely a teenager, thought when an angel of the Lord came to visit, foretelling her miraculous pregnancy even though she was still a virgin and betrothed to Joseph. She asked the angel how was this possible, but she trusted all he said to be true, saying, “I am the Lord’s servant.” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said” (Luke 1:38). 

While Mary didn’t know (but could probably guess) how her friends and family would react to her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, she trusted God. She went to visit Elizabeth who, filled with the Holy Spirit, exclaimed, “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the child you will bear!… Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished” (Luke 1:39-45). Mary broke out in song glorifying the Lord: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in the God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is his name” (Luke 1:45-49). Mary continued to enjoy a time of fellowship with Elizabeth until she returned home, trusting God with her pregnancy even in the uncertainty.

We wonder what Mary thought when Joseph told her they had to travel to Bethlehem to register for the census when she was nine months pregnant. My mind would be all over the worry map. Mary faithfully traversed the arid desert with Joseph to the town of Bethlehem. It was a long journey and Mary’s contractions came upon her. With no place to stay, she gave birth to Jesus in a stable. “She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger” (Luke 2:7). Mary didn’t know what would happen, but she trusted God for his provision even though she was in a stable surrounded by animals.

We wonder if Mary knew what Simeon meant when he said to her only eight days after Jesus’ birth, “… a sword will pierce your own soul too” (Luke 2:35). Sometimes the answers are right in front of us, but God has not opened our eyes to see the full truth. Perhaps God is preparing our hearts for when the suffering and uncertainty arrives, as he was preparing Mary.

We wonder if Mary knew what Jesus’ ministry would look like. After they attended the Feast of Passover, twelve-year-old Jesus went missing. After frantically searching for Jesus, they found him listening to the teachers and leaders. he said to Mary and Joseph “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” While they did not fully understand Jesus’ words, he accompanied them back to Galilee and “Mary treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:49-51). 

When Mary stood by watching Jesus being crucified on the cross, we wonder if she knew Jesus would save us all in his death. “When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “’Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother’” (John 19:26-27). Jesus was still providing comfort to his earthly mother, even when she did not know or understand the depths of his crucifixion. After taking his last breath, he rose to be with God, thus giving each of us grace, peace, and access to God through his blood shed on behalf of all who would believe. 

As the song ponders whether Mary knew the complexities of the journey Jesus faced, Scripture is clear that she did know who he was but did not fully know all the suffering he would face. Perhaps Mary understood why people called her blessed, but she would not have understand the meaning of it all until Jesus breathed his last breath on the cross and rose again three days later. 

Mary’s faith as she raised Jesus provides us guidance as we parent our children in the known, not-so-known, and unknown. God promises us the Holy Spirit who guides us as we cross dark and murky waters while raising our children. Our Wonderful Counselor will help us navigate His truth and be our Comforter. When we treasure tender moments with our kids, even as we live in not-knowing, God prepares our hearts for later moments that might otherwise be too difficult to bear. We, like Mary, can trust God with our children even when we don’t exactly know the outcome of every trial they will face.

For favorite hymns, carols, and songs from the Rooted staff and steering committees, check out the Rooted Christmas Spotify playlist. Merry Christmas! 

Meredith Exline is a writer, teacher, and speaker who is passionate about helping women navigate the transitions in their lives. She has been married for more than two decades and has two young adult children. Meredith has dedicated herself to raising her children and served her community as an elected School Board Member for seven years at one of Oklahoma’s largest school districts. She has been an avid advocate for public education and founded Oklahoma Central Parent Legislative Action Committee, now OKPLAC.

She is a studier and active reader of God’s Word, enjoys leading bible studies, and was a contributing writer for Henderson Hills Student Ministries for over 6 years. Besides her family, her passions include sharing God’s Word, gardening, traveling, entertaining, and cooking.

Meredith has recently launched her website Refreshed Soul as a place for women to find respite, grace and growth in Christ through our ever-changing lives. You can also find Meredith on Instagram @therefreshedsoul.

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