I was one among many eight-year-olds around the world who wanted to be “One Less Lonely Girl” in 2009. The word “awestruck” does not sufficiently describe the way I felt about the brightest teen sensation of my time, Justin Bieber. My cousins and I sang our hearts out to “Baby” while dreaming that we would end up as Bieber’s “Somebody to Love.” Those of us who enjoyed Bieber’s music during his breakout era grew up with him in a sense.
As we matured, so did his music, creating a divide between those who would continue to be “Beliebers” and listeners who chose other tunes. As once a die-hard “Belieber,” it’s not as though I think Bieber is now untalented or irrelevant. Rather, as a follower of Christ, I am more careful about the music to which I bop my head while heading to work or what I use to soothe my soul after a long day of teaching. Teenagers today must make a similar decision with an artist who grew up as one of America’s sweethearts: the infamous Taylor Swift.
Admittedly, I didn’t adore Taylor Swift’s music like I did Justin Bieber’s. Nevertheless, I swayed to Swift’s “Mine,” “Never Grow Up,” or “You Belong with Me.” For many years, Taylor Swift produced a sound that resonated with many girls throughout their teenage and young adult years. Just like with Bieber, however, as we’ve grown, so has Taylor, and the fruit of her womanhood shines forth in her music.
Her newest album, The Life of a Showgirl, has raised the eyebrows of many parents of Swift fans who may not want to deny their children their favorite music artist. These same parents may also not want their young daughters listening to some of the erotic messages that Swift now promotes in her songs. We live in a culture that praises music as inspiring, moving, and entertaining, yet dismisses it as noise one can listen to without much consequence. Given that, how do Christian parents talk to their teenagers about Swift’s new album? Here are a few talking points for parents to disciple your teens to think through popular music choices, including Showgirl.
How Music Shapes the Heart
First, despite what culture says, music disciples us. Lyrics have power, and they often teach and lead us, while taking part in shaping our worldview. Many believers learn potent truths about God through our worship sessions, whether we’re listening to the latest praise and worship song or crying out to the old church hymns we’d hear on Sundays with our grandparents. In each case, when the song ends, we’ve likely learned something new or taken a truth more deeply to heart, experienced a peace that we didn’t have previously, and rested with a reinvigorated confidence in God’s love and care for us.
Songs are powerful. We love a melody that moves us. In this same way, Swift’s album teaches young girls unhealthy lessons about their bodies, sexual intimacy, and men’s power over their hearts. The Enemy’s power rests within vulgar lines just as the Holy Spirit moves through our favorite worship songs. This phenomenon often goes undetected during our teenage years; therefore, teens need parents to come alongside them and help them see the power that music has on hearts and minds.
A Pastoral Example
A pastor I admire once shared how he navigates this with his teens. One day, he heard them listening to music unsuitable for their young minds and growing, Christlike hearts. He pulled them aside and pulled up the lyrics of the songs they were listening to. They read the words together, and he helped them understand what the artists were talking about in the music. He approached his kids with an open heart, saying, “If this is the music you choose to listen to, I just want to make sure you understand what you’re putting in your ears. Consider whether you would call your mother some of the terms mentioned in these songs, or whether you would participate in some of the activities referred to in the music as God-fearing individuals. That will help you determine whether it’s best for your playlist.”
Through this conversation with his teens, the pastor began equipping them to understand the power of music. He made the lyrics applicable and relevant to their lives, encouraging them to make decisions about their music preferences according to what they knew to be true and holy.
Examine Music Using God’s Word
Secondly, parents can disciple their teenagers regarding music by helping them recognize when such music profanes what the Bible deems sacred. According to Genesis 1:27, God made humans in his image. Formed with dust and ribs, he intentionally designed our bodies for his glory. Moreover, Scripture outlines the marital relationship as the context in which a man and woman’s bodies may come together in sexual intimacy. It is apparent that Swift’s latest music promotes an understanding of one’s body and sexual intimacy that is misaligned with God’s Word.
Our bodies were not made only for sex, and sex was not made for unions outside of a marital relationship. Listening to music that suggests otherwise can begin to alter our hearts’ affections, often unconsciously. Parents can help their students discern the best tunes by reading and discussing scriptures such as Genesis 1:27-28 with them, explaining how God establishes marriage as the covenant in which sexual intimacy takes place. Another helpful text is 1 Corinthians 6:12-14. Paul speaks about the importance of distinguishing between what is “permitted” and what is “beneficial.” He explains how sexual immorality is not what the body is for. Understanding verses like these better equips teenagers to know when their music is discipling them for better or worse.
The Word Guards Hearts
Ultimately, parents can help their teenagers discern what music is appropriate for their lives by teaching them how to protect their hearts and minds. More than ever, distractions, delusions, and attempts to convince people to do what is right in their own hearts fill society. These efforts are evident most notably in music. Therefore, it is helpful for teenagers to understand how to guard their hearts in this way, by choosing to resist content that advances what God is against (Prov. 4:23).
The more that teens grow in their knowledge and love of God’s Word, the more they will readily recognize content that doesn’t help them honor the Lord. Paul pleads with the church in Rome: “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God (Rom. 12:2, CSB). Therefore, students can protect their hearts and minds by regularly spending time in Scripture, for it is where they will truly learn about who God is and what he desires for their lives.
Prayer Guards Hearts
Teenagers who belong to Jesus can also guard their hearts and minds through prayer. As a young believer, I would often ask God to convict my heart of anything in my life that was unworthy of him. So, perhaps we serve our teens best when we teach them to develop this relationship with the Spirit, leading them to go to God in prayer, honestly seeking his good and perfect will, even for their music choices. In the end, it will be the Holy Spirit who leads them to truth and righteousness. Helping our teenagers learn to responsibly consume both spiritual and secular music further edifies and helps grow them into the mature disciples of Jesus we hope they will become. Through intentional conversation, we can help teenagers understand that intimacy with God is worth the “pause” on the latest hits.
If you’re looking for more resources to assist you in at-home discipleship, consider using Rooted’s family discipleship video curriculum with your church or small group.
