This series of blog articles explores the challenges, gifts, and opportunities that come along with being a woman in youth ministry. We hope these articles will encourage both women and men as we serve teenagers together in the local church.
As a youth pastor at one local church over many years, I had the joy of hiring other youth ministers and seminary interns—28 of them over the years, in fact. Some of these co-workers and interns were women, and I learned a lot from serving with them.
Because our youth group was large, we did two overseas mission trips each summer and two domestic trips. I had one female intern (she eventually became a co-youth pastor) who did not want to go on any overseas trips, but only on the domestic trips. However, she organized and led the domestic mission trips so well. She was an utterly fantastic leader.
After a few years, I finally asked—not the youth minister herself, but her fifth grade daughter—why her mom did not want to go on any overseas trips. To my surprise, her daughter told me that her mother didn’t enjoy plane rides. It was such a simple, plain response. I had assumed that the overseas trips were too time-consuming for her as a wife and mom. And I was wrong. I was wrong to assume anything.
In fact, she was an excellent leader of our short-term mission teams. Not going on an overseas mission trip did not make her less of a ministry servant or less capable. However, my lack of thoughtfulness or even just asking her about why she did not want to do an overseas mission trip, left me curious, perhaps presumptuous, and even maybe subconsciously attributing it to her being female. I needed to open my eyes and heart. And I needed to repent.
Created Unique for the Glory of God
Ultimately, I share this example from my own ministry because I want to exhort and edify our churches to be open and embrace women in their unique individual giftedness and how God can use them to serve the local church.
A year later, this now youth pastor gave birth to another child, so I gave her the summer off from leading any mission trips. However, the summer after, when given the option of staying home with her young child or leading a mission trip, she decided to go. When her husband and their baby came to visit her on that trip, I realized again what I probably already knew: That as a woman and mother, it is different to go on a mission trip, multi-day retreat, or even a lock-in—and leave your home for a week, a few days, or even one night—than it is for a man and dad. The dynamics are just different.
Based on that experience, I knew I needed a new view of the distinct contributions and gifts of women in youth ministry. Likewise, I knew I needed to change. In Romans 12:4-8, Paul expresses that in the body of Christ, the members do not have the same functions. Obviously, women and men are different. Moreover, many of these differences are not just physical, but in their uniqueness in their giftedness to serve God. My hope is that this series, many would begin to open their hearts and eyes to embrace this truth, and it would exhort us to do better.
“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”
Romans 12: 4-8
Appreciating Our Sisters’ Painful Experiences
The memory of this capable youth minister resurfaced for me while I hosted a podcast for Rooted about a year ago and a guest shared off camera about some painful experiences as a woman in youth ministry. As I listened to her, I realized afresh that I still do not understand all the dynamics of what it means to be a woman in youth ministry, despite attempting to listen to my sisters in Christ. This conversation prompted me to initiate a series for the Rooted Blog in order to learn from the stories of women in youth ministry.
I recognize that there is a wide array of theological and ecclesiological views of a woman’s role in ministry in the church. They span a spectrum of biblical views and ministry practices, and I want to be respectful of all of our readers. I think we can all agree, however, that as God’s image-bearers, women have gifts to serve God and contribute to his kingdom. The gospel redeems and transforms all of us to be used by God in all our diversity as members of the body of Christ.
Edifying the Church
Our purpose in this series is to edify and encourage our churches, as well as provide exhortation as needed. I hope the church can hear the stories of women, and we can be encouraged to value and nurture women in ministry. And I pray that our churches might be challenged where needed, recognizing the ways we might be mistreating or misunderstanding women in youth ministry so that we may do better to the glory of God.
Because of the power of the gospel, we don’t need to despair when we have failed. Instead, I pray that you might grow in the good news of God’s redemption and hope, praising him for the way he uses both women and men for his kingdom purposes.
If you’re looking for coaching and community in gospel-centered ministry, consider joining one of Rooted’s youth or family ministry mentorship cohorts.
