I showed up for my appointment, meeting the staff for the first time. As I was being helped, we exchanged pleasantries When she told me she was from Chicago, I mentioned that I had attended an amazing conference in the Windy City.
“Oh really?” she replied with interest.
“Yes, it was on the Southside of Chicago,” I said.
Her response was telling: “Southside of Chicago? It’s dangerous over there. That’s not an area I would go to.”
I have to admit, her comment challenged me, especially since she also mentioned that she is a Christian. As someone who grew up in the beautiful city of Detroit, an urban context often misunderstood and unfairly judged, I felt the sting of her words. Her instinct to avoid what she perceived as “dangerous” reminded me of how often we’re tempted to do the same. But Jesus calls us to live differently. In Luke 10:3, he says, “Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.”
Jesus doesn’t call us to stay in places of comfort or avoid challenging spaces. Instead, he sends us into them, not with fear, but with faith.
Fast forward to a conversation I had with my oldest daughter.
“Baby,” I said, “it’s important to surround yourself with friends who love Jesus as much as you do.”
She paused, then asked, “But Daddy, not all of my friends are Christians. Does that mean I can’t be friends with them?”
Her question stopped me in my tracks. I thought back to the woman’s comment about Chicago. If I told my daughter to avoid people who don’t share her faith, was I becoming like that woman, subtly encouraging the idea of staying away from “those” people?
My daughter’s question is a profoundly important one. Many parents wrestle with how to answer this issue. I think it’s important to ask ourselves the age old question, “What would Jesus do?”
Learning From Jesus’ Example
Jesus is walking along the way when he encounters Levi, a tax collector. Known for exploiting people for their own gain, tax collectors were not beloved among the people. Most people would avoid Levi, saying “Stay away from me”; Jesus approaches him and said, “Follow me.” And Levi does something most of us would have a hard time doing,:he leaves everything and follows Jesus.
Had Jesus avoided Levi, like most of us would have, Levi would not have known and lived for Jesus. Not living for Jesus is not really living. When Jesus calls us, he calls us to leave everything (Matt. 19:16-23). He even gives Levi a new name: Matthew.
What happens next encourages my heart as a dad After Levi leaves everything to follow Jesus, this new found relationship fills the tax collector with joy and reverence. He not only wants to praise and honor Jesus, but he wants his tax collector buddies to experience who he is experiencing. In my spiritual imagination, I can hear Levi thinking, “If Jesus can save me, he can save them.” Levi has something of value that he knows the other tax collectors need.
Here is the thing: if Jesus had avoided Levi, like most people did, Levi would not have experienced Jesus. And if Levi, by following Jesus, avoided the very people (sinners) he associated with, they would not have had the opportunity to fellowship with Jesus.
But the Pharisees don’t like that Jesus associates with such “bad” people. The Pharisees want to know why Jesus befriends sinners. Perhaps they think that he’ll become like them. In the same way, we parents fear that our kids will become like the nonbelieving kids. We want our kids to only associate with other kids who are Christians because perhaps they have a better chance of following Jesus.
Our children’s salvation is not dependent on the faith of those around them. Don’t get me wrong, it is a benefit for Christians to be around other believers. But salvation is solely dependent on the grace of God who sent his only beloved Son to die on the cross for our sin. Our children have to take ownership of their own faith and follow Jesus, just as Levi did. As the Pharisees grumbled and questioned why Jesus was hanging with “those” people, Jesus answered, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32). We can’t forget that even our kids, as precious as they are, are indeed sinners who need Jesus.
Imagine for a moment that instead of asking, “If my child hangs out with nonbelievers, what would come of my child?” we asked ourselves, “If that nonbeliever hung out with my child, what could become of that nonbeliever?”
Light In The Darkness
Jesus, who is the light, can walk in dark and broken spaces without fear of being consumed by them. Here is the thing I learned about light — shout out to the Detroit Public School System—when light enters a space, it dispels darkness. The light who is Jesus will never be overcome by the darkness of any sinner. Just as Scripture reminds us, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). As followers of Jesus, he is the light we carry into a dark and broken world.
So when my baby girl looked at me and asked if she can be friends with non Christians, I told her, “Of course you can.” I went on to tell her, “Let the light that is in you, Christ, be the light that shines through you. Love the Lord with everything you have and love your non believing neighbor as yourself. Because the most important thing you can bring to any relationship, whether with a nonbelieving friend or a friend who is a Christian, is your relationship with Jesus. And who knows, God may use you to draw them unto himself.”
When our children are deeply rooted in Christ, they can engage the world without fear, knowing they are covered in prayer and protected by the Lord.
Scripture reminds us of the importance of shining our light: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:14-16). As parents we prepare our children to engage with nonbelievers so that they are equipped to carry the light of Christ where ever they go, with whomever they encounter.
Check out the Rooted Parent podcast for more encouragement in the gospel.
