I remember preparing to travel without my children when they were young. My fear and worries about being away from them allowed scary scenarios to wreak havoc in my mind, making me wonder if the trip were even worth it. A friend corrected me, saying, “Dawson, you know you’re not even in control of your children’s lives when you’re with them, right?”
During that season of parenting, I was responsible for meeting many of their basic physical needs. My boys needed me to fix meals for them, change diapers, help buckle the car seat, and walk them to school. My sense of control was palpable to me, because I was in a season of doing most thingsfor them.
But as my children have gotten older, they spend more time away from me, whether at school, with friends, or at other activities. I don’t see or hear every conversation with friends. I don’t know how they behave in front of teachers at school. The older my children get, the more unknowns and unseens there are to me, making my sense of control dwindle.
When faced with my limited control, I have two options: I can turn inward or outward. If it’s gonna be, it’s up to me, I have been guilty of thinking. But there is someone far greater in control of my children’s lives: God.
Short Term Memory Loss: Then and Now
In the Book of Exodus God rescues his people from slavery in Egypt. Story after story tells of God’s mighty hand at work to bring his people to the Promised Land. From the 10 plagues to convince Pharaoh to “let his people go” (Ex.1-12) to the pillars of cloud and fire that lead the Israelites through the wilderness (Ex. 13:17-22) to the extraordinary crossing through the Red Sea (Ex. 14), God demonstrates his power and control over the natural and physical world for the welfare of his people.
Yet the Israelites’ memory proves to be short. “And the whole congregation of the people in Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness” (Ex. 16:2). When faced with uncomfortable circumstances that threaten their physical well-being, how quickly the Israelites forget God’s past faithfulness! When we are faced with the perils of parenting teenagers, how quickly we forget that God provided bread for each day as our babies have grown up!
Taking Matters Into Their Own Hands
The Israelites continue traveling in the wilderness, relying on God’s provision. God graciously shows his presence to all his people through smoke, thunder and lightning, and a trembling earth (Ex. 19:16-20). Then God directs Moses to ascend Mount Sinai to receive the 10 commandments.
But once again, the Israelites forget what God had done and who he is. Faced with the extended absence of Moses, the Israelites take control of a situation that suddenly feels out of control. “Up, make gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him” (Ex. 32:1). But it’s not about Moses. It’s about God. The people think that they’re suspicious of Moses—Moses has disappeared; he’s not reliable; he’s taking too long—but they’re really suspicious of God.
In Exodus 17:7, the Israelites ask a similar question that we often ask ourselves, too, “Is the Lord among us or not?” They answer that question by creating a false god, a golden calf, out of their own jewelry. A god that they can hold, touch, and even carry. Similarly, when I answer “no” to the question of God’s presence and care, I am much more likely to start fashioning my own little gods in an attempt to take control of the situation.
Can I Trust You?
When faced with uncertainty, the Israelites resort to a quick feel-good fix. If I’m being honest, I would be the Israelite who tried to save a little extra manna in her Tupperware for the next day just in case God failed to send more. We are prone to not only doubt if God is there but also if God can be trusted.
Yet God describes himself as, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (Ex. 34: 6-7). Throughout history God has demonstrated these character traits consistently. And for the Christian, God continues to demonstrate his character in the person of Jesus. God sent his Son to live a perfect life yet die the death of a sinner on our behalf. Jesus’ resurrection defeated death once and for all and reminds a forgetful people just how beloved we are.
When we are tempted to take matters into our own hands, we shouldn’t wonder what we can do, but what God can do. The evidence of his character is ultimately displayed upon the cross.
From Lack to Abundance
Where we lack, physically, mentally, or spiritually, God abounds. And to feel that lack drives us to the Lord. What better way to feel our need for God than when we come face-to-face with our limits as parents.
As the appearance of control over my children’s lives has shifted as they get older, my prayer life for my children has changed, too. Where and when I see my inability to control, I seek God in prayer and in his Word. I give him that situation that scares me. I pray over the new friendships in middle school or the challenging class in high school. I give him the worry over my college student getting adequate sleep, studying, or making friends. And I return time and time again to Scripture that reminds me just who God is and how he cares for his people.
I may continue to forget and push against my limitations, just as the Israelites did, but when I gaze upon the person of Jesus, I am reminded once and for all of a God who does not forget who he is and what he has promised. My children are known, loved, and cared for by God. I can find rest in his finished work in Jesus and that he is among us as we raise our children.
Check out the Rooted Parent Podcast season, “Parenting in the Spirit.”
