“If he really is God, why didn’t he heal my grandmother? Why did he let her die? Why hasn’t God answered my prayers?”
I still remember those piercing words on a Zoom call with a high school student who no longer believes in God. This student had some previous experiences with church but now claims to not believe in the existence of God based on reasoning and logic. We had some interesting conversations on evidence of the divine, but it’s hard to believe that this experience with losing his grandmother didn’t have a significant impact on his decision to reject the authority of God in his life.
From the time we are very young, we often receive, whether directly or indirectly, a simple equation: Be good and good things will happen to you; be bad and bad things will happen to you. Whatever people call it, they often believe that God will reward “good people,” not punish them. As we age, however, we become painfully aware of the flaws in this reasoning. That awareness can cause us to despair and become bitter toward ourselves, those we once looked up to, and even God.
It’s imperative for youth ministers to help their students see that God is at work in situations that appear unfair, messy, or are outright tragic. Everyone can follow God when life goes as planned, but learning to discover God’s purpose in suffering is what separates those who have deep faith from those who don’t and who eventually fall away, and in the teen years, these situations are inevitable.
Here are three ways in which we can teach our students to think biblically about trials in their life and learn to discover the purpose and meaning in them.
Scripture Tells Us to Expect Suffering
Contrary to popular belief, the Bible teaches that believers in Jesus will encounter trials in life. In John 16:33, Jesus tells his disciples, “In this world you will have trouble.” In 1 Peter 4:12, we read, “do not be surprised at the painful trial you are enduring as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Timothy 3:12 says, “everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”
We aren’t trying to purposely discourage the teens we serve, but the faster they come to an acceptance of this truth, the more effective they will be in processing it. So often we hear stories of people who come to Christ out of dire circumstances, then God fixes their life, and now they are doing much better. Those stories are encouraging but can often be misleading if not coupled with the understanding that trials will follow a believer throughout their life and with God’s grace they can overcome them. The Christian life is by no means a guarantee that our exterior circumstances will improve.
Opportunity in Suffering
Though pain is inevitable in the Christian life, God uses it to help us become more like his Son. So many of the great heroes of the faith in Hebrews 11 had their faith forged in times of trial and distress. God brought them through times of suffering to prepare them for God’s purposes in their life. Moses chose to align himself with the people of God in their slavery, and God used him to deliver his people. Noah was mocked for building an ark and God rescued him and his family from the flood. Joseph rose to power in Egypt after his brothers left him for dead and Potiphar wrongfully threw him into prison. His position allowed him to save his family from famine, and ultimately preserved the people of God and the lineage of the Messiah.
Rather than viewing trials as the vindictiveness of God or the absence of him altogether, there is room in Scripture to see that God uses trials in our lives even if we don’t understand why they exist in the first place. I heard a preacher say, “God often doesn’t tell us his entire plan for our lives because if he did, we would reject it.” Our plan for our lives is to take the path of least resistance and avoid trials at all costs.
The teenagers in your ministry might face their parents’ divorce, a health condition that may limit their quality of life, the loss of a loved one, the betrayal of a friend or significant other, or a college rejection letter. Whatever the situation, we can help our students see that the very trial they are experiencing and can’t understand is what God intends to use to build them up in Christlikeness.
The trials your teenagers face will show them just how much they need a Savior, that they can’t do life on their own. They will learn during dark times to rely on God and not on themselves. They will see that no one else can carry their burdens but God alone. More, as they follow God through their trials, they will have opportunities to minister to others, sharing with them what God has taught them. In my ministry work, I was able to help a student navigate his parents’ divorce because I went through the same experience as a child.
Redemption in Trials
Trials aren’t just about what happens in this life. This is a vital point to communicate with teens. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 1 Peter 4:13 tells us to, “rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” God uses our trials not just to carry out a purpose in this life, but in the next as well.
It’s hard to appreciate something and understand its value if you don’t experience what life is like without it. Air conditioning is just cold air unless you live in a climate where it’s constantly over 90 degrees. A furnace is just a machine unless you’re living in a northern climate in the middle of January. Refugees from a war-torn country often appreciate their new peaceful homeland better than the native residents because of what they have experienced. In the same way, when you understand what life is like without God, it helps you to look forward to what he has promised us in Scripture.
Christianity is not just about this life. It’s not another life-improvement plan, a 12-step group, or a meditation class meant to relieve one’s worries. It’s about the God who gave his Son to die on the cross and redeem us from our suffering to bring us to a place where there is no more sorrow, tears, death, or sin. We live in the now and not yet. God has already set us free from sin, yet we still await the final longing of our souls—eternity in heaven with our Savior. While trials and suffering can shape us in the here and now, they don’t have a permanent place among the people of God.
Students can easily lose hope in times of crisis because they have not yet developed a framework to deal with suffering in their lives. But as youth ministers, we can help them dig beneath the worldview they learn from the culture. We can help them see that even amid difficulty, God has a purpose and is working to redeem them from all the trauma, suffering, and pain they experience in life. Knowing that he will use everything he puts in their lives to conform them to the image of his Son provides needed purpose. This mindset shift can help our students persevere in the face of life’s difficulties as they look forward to the new home prepared for those who have faith in him.
If you’re interested in growing theologically and practically as a youth minister, consider joining one of Rooted’s youth ministry mentorship cohorts.
