For Grieving Students: Ten Quotes from ‘Hurt, Help, Hope: A Real Conversation About Teen Grief After Loss’

Members of the Rooted team have been honored to read our friends’ Clarissa Moll and Fiona Moll’s new book Hurt, Help Hope: A Real Conversation About Teen Grief After Loss and to talk with them about the book on the Rooted Parent Podcast. In this post, we offer five quotes from the book that we hope will encourage you to share it with grieving teenagers in your church or your home. For more articles and podcasts about teenagers and grief, visit Rooted’s resource page.

About Friendship with Jesus

“You can find all kinds of companions as you figure out how to navigate your life after loss, but Jesus will always be the best friend, the one you can trust to comfort and fight for you, to tell you the truth and help point your feet toward hope. We can have full assurance of Jesus’ presence because of the cross. Through his death, Jesus paid for our sins once and for all. The curse of sin that had brought death and destruction was broken. Furthermore, God’s gift of new life began when Jesus rose from the grave. He not only sealed our forgiveness; he confirmed our eternal destiny. When we trust in him, resurrection life is ours too—now, as an appetizer of the great feast that awaits us when he comes again.” (p. xvi)

About Sharing Stories of Grief with Others

“You are the gatekeeper of your story. Just like a knight standing guard at a medieval castle, you get to decide who enters your story and who doesn’t. You get to decide how much detail each person receives. You get to decide whether a person is worthy of knowing the tenderest parts of your loss. We recommend that you give some thought to who these people might be in your life—classmates, teammates, your youth pastor, or other trusted adults. The ‘Who Are My People’ exercise on page 29 can help you discern who might be a good person to share parts of your story with.” (p. 37)

About Emotions

“When Jesus got said, he didn’t bottle it up. He wept. When Jesus got angry, he didn’t explode in expletives. He executed justice by ridding the Temple of thieving merchants. When Jesus was despairing, he didn’t put on a tough front. He asked his friends to stay near and support him. Jesus, the perfect imago dei, “the image of the invisible God” showed us how to listen and to live with our emotions. Jesus showed us how to feel all the feels and survive by clinging to our heavenly Father…And because he is deeply acquainted with suffering, Jesus cares about the emotions that lobby for attention in your head and heart.” (pp. 51-52)

About Handling Doubts and Questions

“Your questions about God’s goodness and love test the ropes of your faith…We encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus. As the image of the invisible God, Jesus shows us exactly what God is like. Not sure if God is still good and loving? Just look at Jesus. John 15:13 says, ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’ Jesus did exactly that! Death didn’t stop him from loving. In fact, he faced it head-on so that he could call us friends. We were left with no way to earn the status ‘child of God’ because of our sin, so Jesus chose us in love. He was willing to face death in all its pain and horror specifically because he loved you.” (p. 85)

About Jesus’ Promise to Defeat Death and Sadness

“One day Jesus will come again and renew the heavens and the earth…Revelation 21:4 says that when that day comes, ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ As grieving Christians, this offers us a beautiful and hopeful picture for the future. When Jesus comes again, our grief will be turned to joy and our tears will replaced with laughter. Though we suffer now as we participate in Christ’s death, we will also one day experience his victorious resurrection. In this life, we will glimpse little pieces of that victory, but Jesus has promised to raise us all up into his full glory.” (p. 120)

If you’re looking for gospel-centered resources to disciple teenagers, consider Rooted’s Bible-based curriculum, available on Rooted Reservoir.