During seminary I need an internship, so I asked my church’s senior pastor if I could help out, even by just bringing him coffee. Jokingly, he responded, “I don’t know; I drink a lot of coffee in a day.” A few weeks later he told me that the youth pastor, a parent who worked part-time, needed to focus on his day job and parenting, so they needed someone to fill in. The rest is history.
Now, 20 years later, I look back and see that I have learned a few things along the way. I am no longer a young, energetic, single guy with a naïve view of ministry. I am now married with teenage children of my own (though I like to still think of myself as energetic). If you are relatively new to youth ministry, here’s what I wish I knew when I got started.
Resist Climbing the Ladder
I travel a lot for conferences and trips, so I spend a fair amount of time in airports. Many of my trips involve layovers, just hanging out temporarily until I get somewhere else. That’s how I originally saw youth ministry. It’s a stop along the way to get to the prized position of lead pastor. I’d pay my dues before filling more “respectable” roles in the church.
But ministry is not a corporate ladder. We aren’t racing other ministers, competing for the top spots. Youth ministry is not a junior ministry either. It’s arguably the most vital ministry in the church. When I moved to an adult-focused role in a church a couple of years ago, one person’s comment irked me: “So I hear you’re on the adult side now. You’re now doing ministry with the big boys.” Youth ministry is often where churches put the least qualified or skilled applicants and where churches invest the fewest resources. It’s seen as the easy job, because teenagers will come with their families and show up no matter what … until age 18, when they may never come back.
I’m not saying that everyone will do youth ministry for life. But youth ministers must approach the role as the place where the Lord works in and through us until he may call us somewhere else. You are on the front lines of a spiritual battle for the future of the church.
Hold Onto the Wonder of the Gospel
When you go into ministry, you go behind the veil. You will see the ugly side of the church: politics, conflicts, competing interests, brokenness, and finances. You will also see the mundane side of church: sermon prep, service planning, and recruiting leaders. It’s very easy to devolve into being a professional Christian and forget the reason why you took up vocational ministry in the first place. It’s also very easy to sink into cynicism and lose faith in what God can do.
Maintaining a healthy personal spiritual walk is of vital importance. Keep before you wonder of the gospel. The fact that Jesus died on the cross to save you, a minister of that Good News, from your sins must never cease to amaze you. Find time every single day to read the Bible and pray, apart from anything that your senior pastor or manager assigns, to deepen your connection with God. Personally read through and meditate on every passage you will teach before you consider its implications for your students.
Don’t Try to Be the Superstar
I was raised to be capable, to excel, and to pull my load. But I thought that I had to do everything myself. I rarely relied on others, and I took on too many responsibilities. It’s okay to ask for help, to not know all the answers, and to fail, because you will. It’s necessary to realize that you are human, and you need the Holy Spirit and a wise team to guide you.
Work hard, but take breaks, know your limits, and pace yourself. If you want to last to see the fruit of your labor in five or six years, you need a healthy pace. You also need to eat healthy, take care of your body, and get plenty of sleep. It’s okay to ask for the private room at camp while the students stay in the cabin. It’s hard to provide spiritual nourishment to teenagers if you haven’t nourished yourself.
Find Accountability
There’s a saying, “If you cut off the tail, the snake will bite; if you cut off the head, the snake will die.” Leaders experience more spiritual warfare, so it is crucially important that you have people who keep you accountable regularly. Carrying ministry burdens can get lonely, and your church isn’t always the most appropriate place to share those burdens. Your church staff can only go so far on company time in keeping you accountable. You must find people that you know well, who can speak into your life regularly.
I wasn’t very serious about accountability in my early days. Ministry can be depressing and lonely, and unhealthy temptations pop up to cope with those pains. Nothing will pull down a church like a leader who isn’t feeding his or her soul or is harboring secret sin. Make sure you have people in your life who know the real you, not just the you in front of the congregation.
Twenty Years of Grace
It’s 20 years later, and I’m 20 years wiser, through my failures and what the Lord has taught me. I have only persevered by the grace of God, who loved me enough to send his son to die for me, a sinner. Youth ministry today needs more leaders who have longevity, who stay faithful long enough to see fruit in the lives of those they serve. If you create habits to be humble, accountable, and amazed by the gospel, I am confident that the Lord will work through you and that your ministry will bear much fruit.
If you’re looking for gospel-centered community and support to play the long game in ministry, consider applying for Rooted’s youth and family mentorship program.
