When I was younger, I used to watch “American Idol” for two reasons: to see people who could really sing and to see people who really could not sing. For the latter, I often thought, Who told them they could sing? Why would someone let them go on live TV and do this?
Obviously, their lack of talent is the precise reason that they are put on the show. After all, the show is entertainment. But believing that we can do something that we clearly cannot is folly. Wisdom knows its limits. Understanding and accepting our limits as parents blesses our families.
God Created Us With Limits
Scripture clearly teaches that people are extremely limited. We are the created, not the Creator. We are finite, not infinite. We exist in one place at one time. Our bodies are decaying. On top of that, we cannot change the people around us. We cannot stop terrible things from happening. We cannot protect our loved ones from all the pain this life will bring. We cannot avoid misunderstandings. Recognizing that we are limited is essential to living wisely and to parenting wisely.
Unfortunately, we often fail to recognize or to accept our limits, but we have a great teacher who desires for us to learn. Scripture says: “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12). Death is the ultimate limit; if we want to be wise, death demands our attention. When we contemplate the reality of our own deaths, we must come clean about what we believe pertaining to life after death. If this life is all we have, we can be filled with anxiety, focused on not “messing it up” or trying to do “all the things.” For Christians, failing to accept our limits can be living like functional atheists.
But, if we accept that that this life is a pilgrimage through a land that cannot satisfy, and that we are led by the Spirit of God who can sustain us into a land that will satisfy forever, then we are getting at the heart of wisdom.
The heart of wisdom is most fully realized and exemplified in Christ. The Son of God accepted the limits of being human. Jesus knew his days on earth were numbered, and operated with a heart of wisdom at all times. Unlike Jesus, we are extremely limited by the sin that still resides in our flesh. But Jesus chose to identify with us and be limited by the sin of others, and by the brokenness of this world, so that in him we have a great teacher who can lead us to live wisely in this context. Though contemporary culture deludes us into thinking that we can overcome our limitations, they are truly a gift that when recognized, God uses to keep bringing us back to him.
The Limit of Sin
Yet the battle is not just between my head and my heart. Satan tries to use our sin to limit us even further. The late Puritan Thomas Brooks wrote, “Whatever sin the heart of man is most prone to, that the devil will help forward. If David be proud of his people, Satan will provoke him to number them, that he may be yet prouder (2 Sam. 2:4). If Peter be slavishly fearful, Satan will put him upon rebuking and denying of Christ, to save his own skin (Matt. 26:69-75).” Satan’s device is to take good things and trap us – limit us— into making them ultimate things in our lives. It is a good thing for a king to be proud of his people, but not to find his hope in his people. It healthy for Peter to avoid danger, but not if it means denying Christ.
In the same way, Satan loves to use the good things we desire to push us beyond our God-given limits and into sin.
Seeing the Alligator
My in-laws go to Florida for the winter to escape the frigid Midwestern weather. Last year we went for a week to visit. After dinner we would take walks. We’d put on some bug spray, grab some flashlights, and heed the warning, “Don’t forget that there might be some gators out there.” I don’t know if you know this, but you walk a little differently at night in an alligator-filled neighborhood than you walk in alligator-less Ohio. The entire time you are walking you know that some unfriendly foe might be out there in the dark that you cannot see. This reality keeps you on the path, informs where you shine your light, and discourages your kids from running off in the dark.
Walking around in our daily lives, Satan is out there. Yet sometimes we walk around as if he is not. We’re frolicking in the dark fallen world while he lies in wait. As we consider our limits, we should remember that our limits are a means of God’s transformative, providential grace in our lives and that Satan is out to use them as a means to trick us.
Shine the Light on Satan
Our culture tells us that we should be able to do all the things we want to do. But the promise of no limits is just fancy bait on a big hook. If we swallow it, we’re left feeling constantly upset and discontent with the limitations in ourselves and others.
Disciple your kids, recognizing and laughing at your own limits. Shine a light on that gator Satan! Show them how your limits lead you to depend on Jesus.
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