This article is part of a series titled “Hope in the City: Gospel-Centered Wisdom for Urban Youth Ministry.” In this series, we hear from youth ministry leaders about how they faithfully disciple students within an urban context while navigating limited resources, complex cultural dynamics, and the everyday pressures of ministry.
I recently asked Google this question: “How long does the average youth pastor stay in the role?” One source that came up said that the average youth pastor stays at a single church for about 18 months to 2 years.
If this is true, that means the average youth minister stays with their kids between 547 and 730 days. That’s between 13,128 and 17,520 hours. For a sixth grader, the average youth minister would be gone by (or before) they reach eighth grade. What’s keeping us from lasting longer? How does this impact our students? What does this say about the church?
I’m not here to bash youth ministers or youth workers. People leave positions for numerous reasons, and I do not claim to know them all. What I am here to do, however, is offer support for the longevity problem we seem to be having in youth ministry.
What is the Good Part?
I believe that Jesus gave us the blueprint for longevity while he was visiting Mary and Martha’s home. Luke, the physician-turned-Gospel-writer, penned these words:
“Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
( Luke 10:38-42, NASB 1995)
In this passage, I see a sister sitting at the feet of Jesus, receiving a much-needed Word. FYI, every word from Jesus is much needed. I also see a sister who is so busy with preparations and following the household customs of the day that she isn’t rejoicing that Jesus is right there in her house. Most importantly, I also see that Jesus gave us what we need for youth ministry: “the good part.”
What does it look like for us to choose the good part?
Sit With The Savior
If we are going to choose the good part, we need to spend time with Jesus. Luke tells us that Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to him. That means that she was sitting very close and letting him speak. Dr. Tony Evans reminds us that “to sit at one’s feet was the position of a learner in submission to a teacher.”1
Youth pastors, when was the last time you sat at the feet of Jesus and let him talk? As we see from Mary’s example, sitting with Jesus means that we get to be with the Savior and hear directly from him. But if we’re not hearing from Jesus, who are we hearing from? What are we pouring into our teams and students?
Sitting requires stillness. This means we can’t multitask and try to do everything that comes to mind. As youth ministers, we have a lot of work to do, and it’s very easy to fall into the trap of believing the lie that “if I don’t do it, then it won’t get done.” Corrie Ten Boom famously said: “If the devil can’t make us bad, he’ll make us busy.” Busyness can be just as effective as sin at getting us off track.
Consider a few ways that you can stop and sit with Jesus. During your prayer time, leave a few moments to hear from Jesus. Don’t just offer up a monologue. Tell him, “Speak, for your servant is listening” (1 Sam. 3:10). Then listen. Develop a regular Bible reading and study routine. My pastor always says, “When you open God’s Word, you hear from God.”
Silence The Distractions
Here’s the thing: there was nothing inherently wrong with what Martha was doing. It wasn’t malicious or sinful. She was simply distracted by the things she believed she had to do. Isn’t that what we do in youth ministry? Like Martha, we can get so busy serving, even with the best intentions, that we actually miss Jesus! Mary chose the good part—her relationship with Jesus! She didn’t let the weather, preparations, or social norms get in the way of hearing from Jesus.
There are many distractions that can greatly impact youth ministers as well. We can be distracted by comparing our ministry to others. We can be frustrated because we can’t keep up with popular ministry trends. Trying to do it all in the name of “service” or “impact” can draw us away from our primary calling.
Our mission as youth ministers and leaders is to show our students how to love Jesus and tell others about him. The enemy would love nothing more than for the distractions he sends our way to frustrate and exhaust us out of our calling.
To combat all this, make time away from distractions. Focus on the relationship with Jesus. Silence your devices (or remove them from the room) while reading the Bible and praying. Reserve some alone time with God. The Bible tells us that Jesus would withdraw to remote places to pray (see Matt. 14:13; Mark 1:35, 45; Mark 14:32; Luke 5:16). We should do that too.
Stop Doin’ Too Much
Have you ever had a student, or one of your own children, tell you that you’re “doin’ too much?” If not, then (as my grandmother used to say) “just keep on livin’!” As youth pastors, we (like Martha) sometimes do too much. We try to be at every student’s sporting event. We work hard to do everything our student leaders and volunteers want to do. After conferences, we come back and try hard to implement all of the really cool ideas we picked up during sessions. And all too often, as a result of all these efforts, we burn out.
Friends, Jesus already told us how simple all of this could be. We just have to make the decision to focus on what is actually required. Choose the good part!
Rather than doing everything, keep the main thing the main thing. Preach the gospel, love your students, and show them how to live for Jesus. Redefine how you’re measuring impact. Attendance, for example, may not be the indicator that you think it is. Build a community. Reach out to other student ministers to give (and receive) encouragement.
Stop trying so hard. “Cease striving and know that I am God! I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth” (Ps. 46:10, NASB 1995). Let me also remind you to rest on the finished work of Jesus. Please do not forget that Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection are good news for you too. Be like Jesus on the ship and rest! If he defeated death, hell, and the grave, he is more than capable of handling the “too much” that we keep trying to take on.
A Prayer for the Burdened Youth Minister
Let me offer this prayer for you right now:
Father in Heaven, I want to pray for all youth ministers. Thank you for calling us to this very important work. And because you’ve called us, we know that you will not abandon us. Sometimes the load gets very heavy. We get misunderstood. Messages don’t land like we want. And some of us begin to feel like what we’re doing isn’t working. Please remind us that you’re with us and that we’re never alone. Sit with us today and speak to our hearts.
To the youth minister who is thinking about quitting, help him or her silence the distractions and hear from you. May your voice be louder than anything else we may be hearing. To the weary and discouraged youth leaders, grant them rest in your presence today. Give them strength that can only come from you. And help us all to resist the urge to take on more and do more. Instead, remind us that we’re your sons and daughters. And as your children, we don’t have to work harder; we just need to be. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!
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- Tony Evans. The Tony Evans Bible Commentary: Advancing God’s Kingdom Agenda. Holman Bible Publishers, 2019. 984. ↩︎
