Spring and summer sports will soon fill up the calendar for many families. Often, church involvement and sports involvement are put at odds with each other. In this installment of Ask Rooted, we asked parents about what kind of discipleship opportunities and spiritual development their child’s sports participation has provided.
Christina Fox, Parent and Writer in Atlanta, GA
My kids are athletes. I’ve spent countless evenings and weekends in the bleachers, on the sidelines, or at a meet. Competitiveness is an integral part of sports participation. You have to want to push hard in order to accomplish the goal of winning. But with such competitiveness often comes challenges that are opportunities for parents to disciple their children.
Take, for example, losing. When my children played their hearts out and their team lost, they were often crushed by the loss. They were angry at themselves, teammates, and others. They were disappointed that what they expected to happen did not. At times, they were even grieved. As parents, we helped them process these emotions. We reminded them that losses do not define their worth or value. They are secure in God’s love for them. We helped them consider the lessons they learned from the loss for the next time. We talked with them about ways to communicate with their coaches when they had ideas or suggestions for team improvement. This encouraged them to take leadership initiative.
Kristen Elizabeth Couch, Parent and Writer in Chesterfield, VA
As an empty nester, I am now able to look back and see the many ways God used the gift of sports to teach our four children spiritual truths: the value of teamwork, self-denial, rigorous training, submitting to authority, time management, mental fortitude, the handling of conflict with grace, and practicing kindness and charity amid teammates with divergent personalities. Our children learned to trust God with every win, loss, and injury. These lessons proved fruitful in time, preparing them for their future work as adults. Two sons became pastors, one son a missionary, and our daughter a stay-at-home mother. Today, they speak fondly of their many years in sports and how God used sports to mature them in Christlikeness.
Another gift afforded by God through athletics was that of time. Time my husband and I spent driving our children to practices and games. Time to chat, time to hear our children’s hearts, time to laugh, time to pray, and time to enjoy each other’s company. I see it now: sports were a super-glue, unifying and strengthening our family for the glory of God.
Lindsay Funches, Parent and Writer in Tacoma, WA
All four of our children participated in multiple sports at varying levels. Two continued on to compete at the collegiate level. Without a doubt, our entire family of six would unequivocally state that our family’s participation in sports has borne tremendous spiritual, relational, emotional, and personal fruit. My husband and I have been forced to seek wisdom and be intentional with our children’s time, supporting coaches while standing firm in our Christian values. We have faced criticism from fellow believers who thought our children’s athletic commitments were indicators of a weak commitment to Christ and the church. Though uncomfortable at times, our family stood out. That in itself provided ample opportunities for growth as a family in wisdom and in grace.
For our children, the list of character benefits is tremendous. They learned teamwork, discipline, perseverance, and mental toughness. Athletics forced them to work towards a goal with children from different backgrounds. It provided our children with practical opportunities to love their neighbor as themselves, even if that neighbor was difficult or different. They also learned that their behavior brings with it a platform for sharing the gospel.
One memorable practice, my son shared the gospel while swimming. He answered questions each time he and the other boy came up for air. Children and teens notice differences and ask questions: Hey, why don’t you cuss? Are you Mormon or something? Seriously, you’re a virgin? Why? Do you actually believe there is a God? Do you hate her because she is trans and you are a Christian? As parents, the discipleship opportunities that come with helping our children respond well to these questions are priceless.
There were occasions when we allowed our children to travel overnight with a team. We almost always required them to stay with us and asked them to contribute financially to the cost. Was this a sacrifice for our family? Yes. Did our children initially balk at not being allowed to stay with teammates? Yes. Did the coaching staff think we were weird? Yes. Did it mean that due to a lack of time and money, sometimes our children missed out on “athletic development”? Yes. But our children learned that athletics are a privilege, not a right. They learned that, though the world does not revolve around them, we did want them to succeed and valued them as individuals.
A trip with the team did not mean late nights in a hotel room unsupervised with other teens. It meant a special weekend away with mom or dad–time that was hard to find in a busy home with three other children. Parenting children across the modern-day athletic tightrope of daily practices, Sunday games, club opportunities, and the current culture is not for the faint of heart. Did we walk this tightrope perfectly? No. Would we do it all over again, seeking wisdom as we went? Absolutely.
Leslie Ho, Parent in Southern California
When my daughter enrolled in her first dance class years ago, I only hoped for her to gain physical activity. I never expected her to develop a deep passion for it. Honestly, I feared that modern dance culture–with its music choices, body image pressures, modesty and attire issues, and dance genres–would introduce influences I wasn’t ready to handle.
Yet, over the years, this journey has opened doors for us to discuss these very concerns. When questionable songs appeared on her playlist from dance warm-ups, it became an opportunity to identify reasons why some song lyrics are not edifying, despite being permitted in class. We’ve also frequently evaluated whether “dance-inspired” outfits align with our family’s modesty guidelines. I’m realizing that maintaining open dialogue with my children creates natural teaching moments, applying God’s word to everyday life. I thank God that my daughter has built trust, not barriers, allowing us to navigate this journey together.
Jimmy Kim, Parent and Executive Director of Family Transformation at Perimeter Church in Atlanta, GA
Our family loves soccer—watching it, playing it, and sharing the beautiful game together—but we’re also honest about the challenges that come with youth sports. As followers of Christ, we’ve had to stay prayerful and intentional as we navigate this world, especially with a daughter competing at a high level and pursuing collegiate opportunities. We continually remind ourselves that our first calling is to raise our children in the fear of the Lord (Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:4), modeling a life where identity is rooted in Christ rather than in sport, career, or even family (Gal. 2:20). That means regular conversations about faith, the surrounding culture, and how the gospel shapes the way we approach all life pursuits.
We also check in often to ensure this journey is truly hers—not an extension of our egos or unfulfilled dreams. The window to pursue high‑level soccer is small, and the work is demanding, but it must be driven by her desire. Along the way, we try to cultivate love of Jesus, resilience, and a growth mindset. And when travel pulls us away from home, we work to keep our faith central by visiting local churches and living missionally on the sidelines, avoiding gossip, praying for teammates and their families, and seeking opportunities to show Christ’s kindness and hope (1 Pet. 3:15).
If you’d like to grow in discipling your children or teenagers alongside others, consider working through Rooted’s Family Discipleship Curriculum with your church or small group.
