I attended a Christian school for my entire K-12 experience. But I vividly remember soliciting my parents to move me out of my Christian school and into Hillcrest High School, my local public school, in 10th grade. My friends and I all went through seasons of contentment and angst regarding our school. It is as common as a firework on the Fourth of July. Most Christian families will wrestle with legitimate questions about school choice and may even wrestle with their children about those questions.
Should I put my child in a Christian school? What about homeschooling? Is public school a better, more rounded option? What about the finances of it all? Where does my child’s opinion fit in? This list could continue for another paragraph. Having lived through it as a child and now as a father, I understand this at a personal level.
I still believe my young, teenage motives were pure when I wanted to switch schools, but in hindsight, my parents’ prayers and pursuit of wise counsel led them to make a decision I am still thankful for to this day. I recognized their intentionality, even as a teenage boy, despite not liking their decision at the time.
One of the many joys of being a Christ follower is looking to the Bible as a supernatural guide in navigating the big decisions in life. Conversely, today’s culture diverts us to make life decisions based on the loudest voice (the political pundit or maybe your eighth grader), by following your heart’s desire (all Disney plots), or by sheer reasoned analysis (Oprah’s “make your own path and your own truth”).
The Bible proclaims a framework for human flourishing. So wise Christ followers should always consider God’s counsel as they consider big decisions like a career change, a major move, whom to marry, and even which school to enroll their children in. Here are three biblical steps for discerning the will of God.
1. Confess your sin.
This may sound like an angsty place to start, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ is fundamentally grounded in the fact that we are sinners (Rom. 3:23) and our hearts naturally deceive us (Jer. 17:9). The glory of the gospel is that through the work of Christ on the cross, we are forgiven (Eph. 1:7)! God fixed and restored our broken relationship with him (2 Cor. 5:18-19). This reconciliation brings “newness of life” or flourishing as we are aligned with the Creator of the universe (Rom. 6:4).
Though forgiven and restored, we are not done with sin (1 John 1:8-10), and any unconfessed sin in the life of the believer will inhibit a thriving relationship and misalign us. Unconfessed sin is like cotton in our ears, hindering our ability to hear from God. We need to search our hearts and our lives to be sure we are able to rightly hear from the Lord when we ask him for guidance. Even the vigilant Christian can be guilty of unknown sin. (Ps. 19:12-13). Therefore, we are continually called to diligently pursue his ways, standards, precepts, and commands (Ps. 119:1-8). Set yourself up to hear from God by making sure you do not have any unconfessed sin.
2. Seek wise counsel.
Solo is not a biblical principle (Eccl. 4:8-12). The healthy Christ follower lives in Christian community. Christian community is not just a matter of proximity to other believers; rather, it is sharing life in such a way that other godly people inform the big decisions you are navigating personally and as a family.
The Proverbs scream this beautiful truth (Prov. 12:15, 11:14, 15:22, 24:6, 19:20). If you are struggling in your marriage, you need other Christians to biblically speak into that. If you are considering a move out of state, you need godly people to lovingly question and double-check your motives. When it comes to making a school change, it aligns with Scripture that we would ask godly people inside and outside of our situation to ask us good questions and to offer wisdom that we may not have considered. Seeking wise counsel from an abundance of people is an outstanding idea 100% of the time.
3. Pray.
I am often shocked and embarrassed by how quickly I forget to pray and simply ask for God’s wisdom and direction in my life’s decisions. He promises to give wisdom when we ask (James 1:5). I quickly compartmentalize so many situations into boxes that I presume are outside of the “faith” box. A few years ago, I found myself stressed about our financial situation, poring over Dave Ramsey principles.
Eventually, my wife suggested, “We should pray about this.” I was surprised that prayer had never occurred to me in that situation. Our caring and merciful God cares about all the aspects of our lives (Matt. 10:29-30). As sons and daughters of God, we can be confident that our prayers are heard (1 John 5:14-15, 1 Pet. 3:12). When considering a big decision like a school change, praying to God for wisdom is essential.
There are many great approaches to prayerfully seeking God’s will. I would like to suggest one approach that I received from a wise voice years ago. My wife and I have applied this several times in the course of our marriage. Quite simply, commit this to a season of prayer (maybe a month). In that time, seek wise voices separately and also together as a couple. We would also commit to a day or two of fasting as we prayed for the Lord’s direction. This approach has been a helpful and relieving approach to praying through some big decisions in our lives.
Consider Your Call as Parents
One final relevant question. Where does my child’s opinion fit into this decision-making process? As a pastor working with students and families for the last 25 years, I hear this question from parents regularly. Even though there is not a Bible verse that answers this question, there is a central biblical principle that applies. Children are a gift from the Lord (Ps. 127:3), and Christian parents are to rightly steward the gifts that God has entrusted to us. Every Christian parent will give an account for how they raised their kids (2 Cor. 5:10, Rom. 14:12). We answer to God!
God holds responsbile Christians throughout the ages and around the globe, whether they had access to a Christian school or not, whether they lived in a closed country or a free country. Parents are responsible to teach their children the commands of God and to live them out as they love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and mind (Deut. 6:4-7). Within that calling, a child’s opinion carries some value. Still, I would argue we should consider our children’s opinions on school decisions only after we have applied the three principles outlined in this article.
All in all, there is great joy in relying on God’s will and ways. As you decide the best schooling option for your child, confess your sins, seek wise counsel from other godly people, and commit your decision to the Lord through intentional prayer. May we seek to be faithful in our own walk with Jesus and in how we lead and love our children.
God With You is a 52-week, chronological devotional exploring God’s story. Through it, teenagers will experience Jesus as the lifter of their burdens and the source of their rest and hope.
