Whether you have a student in your youth group whose grandparents are helping to raise him or her, or you serve in a church that includes multiple generations of families, there’s a good chance you have an opportunity to partner with grandparents. We asked our Rooted writers to share their ideas for including grandparents (and grandparent figures) in their ministry to teenagers. We hope their responses will inspire you to co-labor in gospel-centered youth ministry with the grandparents in your church.
Rebecca Lankford, Veteran Youth Minister and Former Rooted Staff in Birmingham, AL
Early in my youth ministry career, I had a student who was a bit of a tough nut to crack. After several attempts to contact her parents, I discovered she lived with her grandparents, as her parents were mostly out of the picture. Through my relationship with this student’s grandmother, I learned that simply treating this grandparent as I treated all the other parents in the youth group seemed to go a long way. I coordinated with her about her granddaughter’s schedule. I asked her to bring snacks to youth group occasionally. I invited her to chaperone youth group events.
Prior to my relationship with this student, I would have never considered tapping into grandparents as resource for our youth ministry. But I am so glad I had the opportunity! Including her grandmother blessed my student, as she felt more comfortable and included with her grandmother around. Being involved in the youth group also blessed her grandmother, as it allowed her to feel more involved in her granddaughter’s life and spiritual development. It’s likely that not every grandparent in your youth ministry will be willing and able to serve, but by God’s grace, simply inviting them to participate in the ordinary tasks normally assigned to parents invites both grandparent and grandchild into a richer youth group experience.
Justin Wong, Pastor of Youth at Chinese Baptist Church in Houston, TX
Not all of our students go to church with their grandparents, but we can introduce them to grandparent figures. One thing we tried at our annual youth spaghetti luncheon (when our students cook and serve the whole church) was to make trading cards. On one side of the trading card we had the picture of our youth member and on the back we had basic facts and prayer requests. We made sure to print out enough cards for each grandparent to collect cards from all the students who served them them that day. Not only did they have a point of contact, but an opportunity to sit down and talk with each other.
We also want to try and integrate students’ grandparents who are in the church into youth leadership for exposure and discussion. Grandparents can become advocates for students, and we get to hear their opinions and thoughts as we think through the youth ministry and programming. Whether the conversation is about administration and communication or about our programs and discipleship, we want to make sure the wisdom and opinions of grandparents are heard and considered.
Emmie Thompson, Visiting Assistant Professor of Theological Studies at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, GA
A practice to connect students’ grandparents with the youth ministry I have inherited is a prayer partner ministry. Our small groups meet weekly in families’ homes with a leader to pray for one another and share life together. Each small group has at least one prayer partner assigned to it. These are grandparents (and any older members of the congregation) who want to support the youth ministry and their grandchildren in a tangible way.
We email the prayer partner the list of students (just first names for confidentiality purposes), along with a list of ideas to support their small group. Small group leaders are then introduced to their prayer partner, so they can continue to update them with students’ prayer requests throughout the year. We keep the prayer partners anonymous to the students as well since we are often sending in sensitive and confidential information for them to pray for. I have seen this be a huge blessing to grandparents, leaders, and students alike. To know that you aren’t alone in praying for your students is a comfort and beautiful picture of the body of Christ. Some grandparents write encouraging, gospel-rich letters or send along snacks. We’ve even had some who donate devotionals inscribed with handwritten notes that students report using into their adult lives!
Anna Meade Harris, Senior Director of Content at Rooted in Birmingham, AL
I knew a single grandmother who raised her grandson in the church, and I learned a lot from their relationship. There can be a strong bittersweetness to that life. On the one hand, there is the joy of knowing and loving a grandchild—and having that kind of closeness is an unexpected delight. On the other hand, there’s often some deep pain that goes with it: maybe your adult child has endured a terrible divorce, or has died. There’s often a very hard reason that the grandparent is the primary caregiver. Being aware of that pastorally is important, as is realizing that the grandparent’s age probably makes them more easily tired. Usually grandparents get to spoil their grandchildren, but these grandparents have to discipline and provide and all the really hard things. That’s a loss as well.
Chelsea Kingston Erickson, Veteran Youth Minister and Rooted Staff in Hamilton, MA
One of the things that can be tricky—but also beautiful—about partnering with grandparents in youth ministry is how different the relationships can look from one family to another. In some cases, a grandparent might be a primary caregiver. In others, grandparents might partner closely with parents to tackle things like transportation and after-school care. And some families may simply participate in the same local church.
If parents are present and involved, I’ve found it’s important to take my queues from them to a certain extent. For example, would they like for the grandparents to also receive updates about youth group, a weekly newsletter from the youth minister, etc.? I wish I had asked this question more often to families who worshiped together across generations, rather than only when grandparents were involved in drop-off and pick-up.
For students in the church whose grandparents are less connected to their daily lives and schedules, simply sharing encouraging words about the student to the grandparents (whether through a thoughtful note, or even in passing on a Sunday morning) can be so meaningful. It positively thrills grandparents in the church to know that their grandchildren are noticed and loved, and that they are growing in the Lord. Even a small effort on our part can help grandparents to feel more connected to their grandchildren’s spiritual lives.
If you’re looking for community and practical tools for gospel-centered youth ministry, consider joining us at the Rooted Conference in Dallas, Texas October 24-26, 2024.
