When I started volunteering in the youth group at my church, I sometimes felt a little out of place. I’m single, but most of the other youth leaders—even those who are younger than me—are dating or married. When they bring up their spouses or children, I can’t relate. I smile and laugh and nod my head, but it’s hard not to envy their situations.
The Scriptures offer encouragement for other single youth leaders who, like me, may feel a little out of place. The enemy of our souls wants us to believe lies about our identity and value. He may tell us that we’re behind or that we don’t belong. He may even tell us that we can’t make as much of an impact on students as dating or married youth leaders can.
After an emotionally draining night at youth group, it’s far easier to believe these lies from the enemy than remind myself of the truth. But the truth is what sets me free (John 8:32). If you’re tempted to throw a pity party—or throw in the towel—because you’re tired of feeling so alone as a single youth leader, let me share a couple of encouraging truths with you.
You Can Still Connect with Other Youth Leaders
As believers, we all worship and serve the same God—the God who welcomes us into his family regardless of relationship status. This is good news for single youth leaders! Differences don’t prevent us from connecting with fellow youth leaders, even if they’re dating or married. They’re our brothers and sisters in Christ, and we’re called to glorify him together.
Paul expressed this hope and prayer for the Romans in his letter to them: “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:5-7 ESV).
Christ’s sacrifice on the cross paved the way for us to live in harmony with other believers. We may not resonate with everything our fellow youth leaders say, especially when they talk about their spouses or children, but that’s okay. We can still connect with them because we have a shared calling to follow Christ wholeheartedly and represent him faithfully to the students we serve together.
You Can Still Connect with Students
If you’re a single youth leader, this thought has probably crossed your mind at least once: I don’t have as much to offer students as the youth leaders who are dating or married. I’ve definitely had that thought before, especially while interacting with students who have significant others. I could share plenty of advice on singleness, but on dating, inexperience is the only thing I have to offer. Believe it or not, though, being single is actually an advantage in ministry, not a disadvantage.
This passage from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians explains why:
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Paul didn’t say that marriage was sinful, but he did encourage the Corinthians to remain single because he realized that being married meant having divided interests. As single youth leaders, we can devote ourselves to the Lord in a way dating or married youth leaders can’t. Though we may not be able to answer every dating-related question or address every dating-related topic, we can pour our time and energy into supporting students’ spiritual growth.
You’re Not Actually Alone
We can also find encouragement from single men and women in Scripture. Some examples that come to mind are John the Baptist and the 12 disciples (with the exception of Peter). There was even a single sibling crew—Lazarus, Mary, and Martha.
All of these individuals supported Jesus’ earthly ministry, and their relationship status didn’t make them less valuable in his sight. God used them to accomplish his purposes. And Jesus, who spent 33 years on earth as a single man, accomplished God’s ultimate purpose: paying for the sins of humanity by dying on the cross and conquering death by rising from the grave.
Although your feelings of loneliness as a single youth leader are real, they don’t determine your ability to connect with students or connect with youth leaders who are dating or married. Whether you remain single or find a spouse who serves alongside you, God is with you. He has a purpose for you. You’re not alone. Keep serving students for his glory and allow him to use you, regardless of your relationship status.
Register for our Rooted 2026: Biblical Humanity conference to get more practical help, theological training, and ministry friendship to support your youth ministry work, whatever your season.
