One of the unpleasant aspects of being a youth pastor involves veiled comments from people that communicate that you are a “B Team” minister. There is a perception and stereotype that youth pastors are second rate laborers in a church. Regardless of how challenging it may be, youth pastors have to learn how to deal with this perception of inferiority.
The TGC article, “Oh, No, The Youth Guy Is Preaching,“ serves as an example of this perception with which youth pastors have to deal. I feel certain that neither the author nor TGC intended to degrade or demean people who minister to kids. The second half of the article advocates for the value of giving young pastors opportunities to grow in their gifts for the future. Furthermore, TGC has been one of the biggest champions of gospel-centered youth ministry. No harm was intended. Nevertheless, this article has inflamed a wound that every youth pastor knows well.
The article opens with the build up of a person who has been inviting a non-believer to church for ages. They finally agree to come, and they are so, so excited!
Yes! My non-believing friend is going to hear the gospel, and this may be the day he or she is saved!
But, alas. Major disappointment ensues. The worst case scenario. Was there an outbreak of Covid? No. Did the building burn down? No, much worse. THE YOUTH MINISTER IS PREACHING!!!! Here’s how the article characterizes it:
“Oh no! The youth guy is preaching. Of all the days! You’re happy your senior pastor gets a break, and you’re glad the youth minister gets an opportunity to grow and develop, but why today?”
He goes on to say that this was the Sunday when his church needed to “bring its A game.” Ouch. And here’s the line that heaps on the shame: “At one time or another, we all feel this way.”
How does a youth pastor receive this declaration? Everyone universally agrees that the youth pastor is “less than.” When I, the youth pastor, get into the pulpit, EVERYONE in the building is disappointed and deflated, because as the youth pastor, I just don’t have that much to offer. I’m inferior.
The author goes on to make a good argument for why churches should give young youth pastors opportunities to preach. He is, in fact, advocating for churches to share the pulpit with youth pastors for the sake of their development. Kudos to him for this.
But my guess is that not many youth pastors made it past , “…we all feel this way,” if they even made it past the title, “Oh no! The youth guy is preaching.”
In my career, I’ve received these comments within my church:
- After five years in youth ministry, I was asked “What are you gonna do when you grow up?“
- While I was working 70-hour weeks, a parent asked, “What do you do for a living?“
- A student once said, “ If you went to Wake Forest, what are you doing working as a youth minister?” She may as well have said, “What went so wrong?”
Every time I have conversations with youth pastors at Rooted Conferences, I hear soundbites of degrading comments they’ve received.
The article, which encapsulates this chronic degradation ever so publicly and explicitly, raises a question that every youth pastor needs to deal with: how do you persevere and remain faithful when you feel regarded as a second rate minister? Here are a few suggestions I would offer:
(1) Ask yourself: are you ministering for God or for man?
I am in the uncommon situation of working in a church in which the leadership very much values the youth ministry. We are well funded. We get first right of refusal on one of the best rooms and on the bus. We get paid well.
But, as I mentioned before, in my seventeen year youth ministry career, I will have times when I get the “woe is me’s.” When I feel like a lay person has treated me with condescension, I ask the question, “Whose opinion really matters here: God’s or man’s?”
If I am faithfully following God’s call on my life, and if that call means that I minister to teenagers rather than adults, then the way that some people regard me is irrelevant.
Yes, we all want to feel valued. It can be painful when we feel degraded. At the same time, we are not serving to win the praise of people, we are serving to please the Lord God. Paul has sharp words to this effect in Galatians 1:10, “Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Following God’s call and living out that call faithfully by praying, pursuing, teaching the Word, sharing the gospel, and pastoring honors the Lord. We need to repent from being overly concerned about the opinions of man and instead let our hearts be focused on the glory of God.
Ultimately, we have to find our value in the love of God, not in the validation of human beings. These challenges I’ve described often reveal our idolatry of human approval and worldly identity. Use them to repent and to find your worth in the blood of Christ.
(2) When you receive opportunities, go above and beyond to bring your A+ game.
I remember the first time I got the opportunity to preach. I was given a 15-minute slot at a Lenten lunchtime sermon. I felt very honored, given all the great preachers at my church. I worked on the sermon for four weeks. I practiced it four times per day the week of the sermon. I wore my “fancy” suit to the pulpit. I don’t know if the sermon was great but it was definitely the best I had to offer.
Afterwards, people said things to the effect of “I didn’t know you had that in you.” When you, as the youth pastor, step to the pulpit, there may be people who are not expecting much and who tune you out. Don’t feed this perception. Be prepared and professional to the best of your ability to try to minimize distraction so that the parishioners’ attention is on the preaching of the Word of God.
When the two youth pastors at our church preach, it is must-see TV. They are always very well prepared. People can see that they have taken the call very seriously, and it wins them credibility with the congregation. People closely listen to their sermons.
Lastly on this point, your pastor is taking a risk in giving you an opportunity. Honor this risk by giving your best effort.
(3) Take the grease with the gravy of being a youth pastor.
As a youth pastor, you may get less esteem than the head pastor. But you know what the head pastor has to do that you don’t? Lots of miserable work. Head pastors have to attend lots of administrative meetings. They generally have to deal with the most toxic, critical people in the church, for whom they can be a punching bag. My head pastors have usually taken all of the hits, while I, by and large, spend almost all of my time teaching, discipling, pursuing, and pastoring — the enjoyable stuff that we love about ministry.
An associate pastor of a church once said to me, “I’m so jealous of youth pastors. You guys get to teach the Word so much, build your own strategies, and do so much more relational work.” Will you appear to be as impressive to people as the head pastor? Probably not. But appreciate the trade-offs and enjoy the amount of relational, Word-based ministry that you get to do. You as the youth pastor usually get to do more of the meaningful, disciple-making ministry than any other person in the church.
(4) Lament in community.
Feeling unvalued and degraded can be lonely and isolating. Attending a conference or spending time with other youth pastors helps a great deal. You can feel understood in these conversations. We need to make sure that we lament in a biblical way and that we do not grovel in victimhood too much. Still, it is very important to be connected with other youth pastors and to share these burdens. Others have probably felt everything you’re going through. Do not let the devil defeat you with despair. Find life-giving community with other youth pastors who can help you.
(5) Rely on the Word of God.
Let’s face it: if you are a young youth pastor going to the pulpit for the first few times, you are probably not going to be as rhetorically strong now as you will be in 20 years. Skill and confidence come with time and experience. Therefore, make sure that you teach the Word of God. Focus on what the Scriptures actually say. Convey that to the people of God. Isaiah 55:11 (KJV) says, “… [my word] shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” You may have stumbles and stammers, but if you teach the passage fully, the Lord will positively impact people. Rely on the power of his Word and Spirit, not on your oratorical ability.
