Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra’s recent long-form reporting for The Gospel Coalition, “Youth Sports, Healthy Families, and the Future of the Church,” caught our team’s eye as an important read (or listen) for youth ministers and parents. Zylstra tells the story of the explosion—and monetization—of organized athletics for children and teenagers. We know our readers are likely affected by this ongoing story, so we wanted to bring it to your attention. Following are some reflections from our blog team as parents and youth ministers.
Danny Kwon
I was a long-time youth pastor of a large youth ministry, but more recently, I joined a home group with our church. The group of 12 adults meets twice a month after church for fellowship and Bible study. Most of the other group members are couples with children or teenagers, while my wife and I now have children in their early twenties. While I love this group, I noticed this fall that at nearly every meeting there are at least three or four couples who can’t come to church or our gathering due to taking their children or teenagers to something related to sports. And it is not just travel team sports. It’s the local rec league or intramural basketball, soccer, or flag football teams as well.
When my kids were younger, there was a shift from Sunday being sacred for even local rec and intramural leagues for practices or games, to more and more practices and games scheduled. Sunday was no longer a “sacred” day off for the local sports leagues.
My observations with my adult home group, highlight that the issue of youth sports is not just a “youth” issue, but it is an adult and parent issue. Likewise, as a youth pastor of 29 years at one church, I can tell you that if you want to try to navigate this youth sports issue as a youth minister, you can’t do it alone. You’ll need to partner with your senior pastor, other adults, and especially parents in the church in order to communicate how youth sports are impacting our teenagers’ church experience and their faith.
Even as a veteran youth pastor, I admit that tackling this issue can seem overwhelming. But we must start somewhere. I am going to start by grabbing a cup of coffee with each of the dads in our home group. In the spirit of friendship and gospel brotherhood, I plan to invite them into a conversation about youth sports and their children. It might not seem like much, but it is a start. Because the conversations about youth sports have to start somewhere…and we have to start with the parents.
Isaiah Marshall
I had just finished my junior year in high school and my track and field club was preparing for the AAU Junior Olympics. It was the summer time and my mom was adamant that I get a job. I knew that getting a job would mean not being able to compete over the summer. But I was torn because I loved track and field and wanted to compete. I told my coach: “My mom wants me to get a job over the summer.” He replied, “Make sure you tell your mom to be sure that job will pay for your school.” I told her and that was the end of that.
As a product of travel team sports, specifically track and field, this article brought back some great memories. Travel sports played a huge role in my life as a teen. The difference for me however, is that I would not consider myself as being churched in the first place.
Growing up in Detroit, MI, I initially saw track and field as a means to get out of Detroit and go to college. After all, I would constantly hear as a high school student in Detroit that I was more likely to go to jail than to go to college. I was privileged to belong to a travel team that was made up of our high school team. We essentially competed together year round for years and my teammates became like brothers in many ways. There was a cost but it certainly was not expensive like most travel teams. Had that been the case, I likely wouldn’t have been able to compete because money was scarce where I am from. All it cost me was sweat equity and time. As a result, I was able to see parts of this country that I would not have seen otherwise.
I bring up my experience because context matters. If you grow up in an environment where success doesn’t always look like college degrees and six-figure jobs like myself and many of my peers, then sports can be a safe place. For me, the desire to play sports and excel mostly came from a very pure place. For many in urban areas, the desire to excel in sports and make it to the pros was an opportunity to get you and your family out of a challenging situation.
I understand the tension with sports for Christians because at some point, track and field did become an idol in my life. It is hard for it not to be that way when just about everyone around you tells you how great you are. Their praise became satisfying and I wanted more of it. At one point in my life, I believed that running was the only thing I was good at and the only thing I could contribute to this world. It didn’t occur to me how much of an idol track was until the Lord captured my heart in college as a student-athlete.
I write as one who benefited greatly from travel sports, and also as a former youth pastor who witnessed how travel sports can negatively affect a young person’s attendance. My hope is that teenagers and parents would consider what they desire to get out of sports. It is tempting to find a future hope in sports instead of in the one who gives us a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11). Sports are a gift from God that we get to experience and enjoy. As a youth minister, I pray that every young person who so desires gets to experience the gift of participating in sports. As they participate, I pray that as parents we show them what it means and what it looks like to play for the glory of God.
Chelsea Kingston Erickson
I am not an athlete myself, and I confess that as a youth minister I was often confused or even frustrated when families chose to regularly miss church for the sake of sports. I’ve also had the privilege of seeing parents navigate this dilemma with admirable conviction, coming to the early service with uniform-clad teenagers and then racing off to make the latter portion of a game 30+ miles away.
A number of years ago a fellow minister in my town invited me to a breakfast meeting that helped me gain perspective regarding the challenges many families face in regard to sports. Several parents joined us around the table, and they shared about the pressures Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra describes—of early specialization and increased athletic demand even on the youngest athletes. They also explained how the intramural and rec league teams many of us grew up with had mostly been replaced by travel teams starting around second grade. This means that instead of engaging in lighthearted competition between in-town teams, families have to drive long distances on the weekend if kids want to play.
My own recent experience as a parent has given me more compassion for sports families as well. Many of our neighbor friends have signed up their three- and four-year-olds for our town’s soccer program—on Sunday mornings. I’m fairly confident that my preschooler (a bookish little guy) would not even enjoy soccer at this age. Still, the social pressure is strong and it sometimes feels like we are missing out. I also recognize that I’m a product of the messaging regarding sports in our culture, frequently entertaining the worry that my kids will be “behind” in this area of sports. (I realize it’s completely ridiculous to think that missing out on 30 minutes of organized chaos will make a difference either way!)
This is just one of many reasons the Rooted team has become so interested in equipping churches to facilitate family ministry. Parents are making decisions earlier and earlier about the family calendar—often saying yes to soccer on Sunday mornings in preschool or travel league sports in early elementary school. It’s magical thinking to imagine we’ll change these families’ minds about their weekend commitments once their students reach middle school. Instead, church leaders need to begin interacting with parents on this topic and many others when their children are very young. We want to help them think biblically and prayerfully about how their choices affect things like church participation, future youth group involvement, and overall spiritual health.
I hope my own children and the teenagers in my church family will have plenty of opportunities to develop physical fitness and to engage in healthy competition. I pray they’ll do it to the glory of God, and that they’ll give him thanks for every opportunity to enjoy the bodies he calls “good.” And I pray they won’t let anything get in the way of their participation in Christ’s Body, the Church.
Anna Meade Harris
This ship sailed long ago for my family, as my kids are all out of college now. But I had two kids who thrived playing travel baseball and AAU basketball. My third son participated in travel debate, which was every bit as taxing, competitive, and costly (in all the ways, not just financially) as travel sports.
I do not have answers to all the issues raised in the TGC podcast or in my friends’ responses in this post. Obviously, the whole family needs to be in church worshiping alongside fellow members of their local body on Sundays. I certainly was guilty of allowing my children’s church experience to be to some degree malformed by travel competition (among other things).
I’d like to say that knowing what I know now, I would do things differently if my kids were still teenagers in the home. At the same time, all three of my kids loved their travel experiences. When I would periodically ask them if they wanted to continue, they offered to quit school rather than quit sports or debate (obviously, not an option). As a single parent, I found that sports teams gave my sons much-needed interaction with coaches and mentors, in a setting where they felt comfortable, competent, and valued.
When their father died, continuing to play the sports they loved with the teams they loved was a tremendous source of continuity and comfort for them. Yes, they found those things in church, too. But sports brought them lasting friendships, character development through manageable adversity, a place to expend their nearly inexhaustible stores of physical and mental energy, and the simple joy of playing the game.
Please take care not to judge parents who allow their children to play travel sports. Most parents do the best they can to give their children what they need. No parent gets it all right. It’s far too simple to make youth sports (or social media, or academic pressure, or anything) the bogeyman that separates our children from the spiritual thriving we want them to have. Travel sports is simply the idol du jour for many families. In his great grace, God does not need for parents to do everything perfectly in order to reach our children with his great love.
If you’re looking for resources to equip the families in your church to disciple children and teenagers, we offer courses on Rooted Reservoir.
