Our teenagers are surrounded every day by images of wealth. Their phones are constantly showing them influencers whose lives are full of the most fabulous possessions without any concern about the cost. It’s easy for our kids to believe that paying several hundred dollars for concert tickets is just not that big a deal—after all, everybody’s doing it!
As parents, we are not immune to the perils and pitfalls of money and possessions. We’ve worried about paying bills. We’ve wondered how we’re ever going to afford to send our children to college. We may have put off needed home repairs to splurge on a fun family trip. We can sympathize with our kids’ misguided beliefs because we know all too well what it’s like to dream of having lots of money.
Yet “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs” (1 Tim. 6:10). Satan uses the flashy glamor of wealth to deceive and destroy. Satan’s lies about money can appeal to even the most devout Christ-followers. Therefore, if we are to live in light of the good news of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we must have a God-honoring perspective on money: God knows our needs and will meet them. In these verses from Matthew’s Gospel (Matt. 6:19-32), Jesus gives clear instructions that we can use to refute three of Satan’s lies that our kids might believe about money and possessions.
First lie: Money can buy happiness.
Perhaps the most destructive lie about money and possessions is that more will make you happier. Every time teenagers scroll through social media, they are bombarded with celebrities, athletes, and influencers posting about their favorite clothes, jewelry, equipment, and vacations. They certainly seem happy, and the message kids get is that $500 sneakers are the reason why.
True joy, however, is always found in God alone (Ps. 16:11). Jesus warns against believing that money can buy happiness: “No one can serve two masters. . . . You cannot serve God and money” (Matt. 6:24). His emphatic words point us to the danger of believing we can serve God while dreaming of lavish lifestyles. When we envy others’ wealth, we are not actively living in God’s truth: money and possessions are temporary and ultimately disappointing, but serving God brings eternal and complete joy.
One way to begin showing the disconnect between money and happiness is to remind your kids—early and often—that media is curated to make consumers. Point out the abundant evidence that many celebrities are promoting a lie. We often hear of the rich and famous struggling with addiction, depression, family dysfunction, and abuse. These examples provide stark proof that happiness cannot be found in worldly possessions. Only God’s faithfulness and provision can bring lasting joy to those who love him.
Another way to actively combat the lie of equating money with happiness is to practice simplicity. Look for ways to demonstrate that simple joys can be fun. Make a delicious homemade pizza rather than ordering DoorDash. Spend a rainy evening reading books or streaming an old movie instead of online shopping. Drive a few miles out of town and take an afternoon hike. Be sensitive to your child’s personality and preferences as you intentionally create happy memories without excessive spending.
Second lie: Possessions offer protection.
The need to conform is a powerful force among teenagers. Many of them simply don’t want to stick out or seem different. Some see possessions as a means of protection from ridicule or social exclusion, believing that having the “right” clothes or the latest technology will shelter them from their peers’ criticism.
But the security of both possessions and fitting in is temporary. Jesus makes it clear that all possessions are subject to destruction “by rust and moth” and loss by “thieves [who] break in and steal” (Matt. 6:19). If we treasure our possessions—and the opinions of our peers—more than we treasure a right relationship with God our Father, we will ultimately be left with nothing. Money and possessions are perishable; God is forever. If they commit to “storing up treasure in heaven” by living in eternal communion with God, the reward is infinitely greater than the temporary pleasure any possession could bring.
As parents, we reinforce this truth by standing firm in our attitudes about money. Set limits for allowances and purchases, and don’t give in to the inevitable begging for more. Remind them of the fleeting nature of possessions: those crazy shoes she purchased last year are this year’s fashion faux pas, and that expensive guitar he swore he would learn to play is gathering dust as he’s decided to concentrate on drums instead. Consistency in spending helps our teenagers avoid using possessions as a shield from peer pressure.
Third lie: Money assures a successful future where needs are met.
In a consumer-driven culture that worships winners, money can appear to be the driving force to success. It can pay for degrees from exclusive colleges, lessons from expensive coaches, and pricey equipment considered crucial for extracurricular success. Our kids may experience anxiety when they feel they don’t have enough.
This is not a new human condition; worries about unmet needs are universal, affecting believers and non-believers alike. Jesus says, “do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all” (Matt. 6:31-32). The good news is that our Father knows what we need and will always provide. The bad news is that, as sinners, we are frequently terrible at distinguishing a need from a want. Yes, we need clothing, but do we need designer brands? We need a college degree to pursue our dream of becoming a doctor, but do we need a degree from a college that will leave us deep in debt?
These are important discussions to have with our teenagers. They won’t like them—be prepared for protests and eye rolls. Share with your kids times in your own life where God met a specific need. Encourage them to reflect on situations where they were sure they needed something, only to realize later it was merely a want. Impress upon them—and remind yourself!—that God never leaves a true need unmet. His willingness to give his own Son to spare us from death in our sin and offer us citizenship in his glorious kingdom assures us that he will provide for our material needs as well (Rom. 8:32). Through God’s priceless gift of Jesus Christ, God frees us from anxiety about our needs being met. He knows and provides what we need most, meeting all our needs out of his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19).
Discipling teenagers through the treacherous seas of today’s wealth-obsessed culture can seem like a hopeless task. But God’s provision is perfect and sure. If we, as parents, prepare a biblical rebuttal to each lie our kids are led to believe about money, we can lay the foundation for a faith that resists Satan’s lies and trusts God to know and provide exactly what we need.
Join us November 2-4 for Rooted 2023 in Nashville, where we’ll explore the Sermon on the Mount together. How can we find true human flourishing? The world we disciple our teenagers in today does not merely offer them an alternative way to live, but an alternative account of where true human flourishing is found. This competing vision encompasses all that we believe about ourselves, our bodies, justice, security, suffering, and meaning. In the most famous sermon in human history and the longest recorded teaching from Jesus’ ministry, our Lord gives us a wholistic vision of how we can live in a way that leads to our flourishing in every aspect of our lives. At the core, his teaching shows us that such flourishing is only found through faith in the God who created us and in Jesus Christ who is redeeming us. As we walk through the Sermon on the Mount together, our prayer is that the teachings of Jesus will invert and subvert the teachings of this world and compel our hearts to live in light of the Kingdom of God in faith.
Register today, before the price increase September 15!