As mothers, we have hopes and dreams for our children before we ever even have children. Our longings become even more real when we hold this baby close to us and examine this tiny person nose-to-toes, realizing this child is created in the image of God. We know that our children are indeed “fearfully and wonderfully made.”
We desire that our children love Jesus. A profession of faith from young lips is such a sweet sound. Sincere prayer and worship from your child is a delight. We also desire general things: happiness, good health, success, life without hardship, financial security, and much more for our babies.
As young mothers we cuddle, nurse, rock, and pray for our children with great intensity, almost willing God to give our children everything we think they need. We want to pray with open hands, yet we have agendas for these little ones. Our agendas are not necessarily bad; our desires for our children are for the most part good and right. We watch with excitement when they reach milestones as infants and toddlers. We worry when they are behind and we search for solutions and answers when we discover true issues. We are our children’s biggest advocates. Just as the Lord delights in us, we delight in our children.
Let’s look more intensely at our daughters: those bright-eyed, energetic, sassy females who turn our worlds upside down! We look far into their futures and see wives of godly men, mothers of beautiful children, and workers that make a difference in this world. We dream that our daughters will leave a mark, that God will use them to further his kingdom. Gazing into the immediate future, we see ballerinas in fabulous, pink sparkly tutus stealing the show at the recital. We see reading, math, and school coming easily and report cards with straight A’s lining the refrigerator. We see our daughter running up and down the soccer field dribbling the ball, avoiding defenders and scoring goal after goal. We see the drama they demonstrate at home leading to the star role in the school play. We see the cheerleader in the cute uniform tumbling on the sidelines. We see the artist creating works of art, the musician playing with the orchestra, the singer singing the solo. We see friends and small groups and social lives.
And then life starts.
Maybe they struggle with reading. Maybe they aren’t as athletic, or as coordinated, or as smart, or as popular, or as kind, or as…. You fill in the blank. As a mom your love doesn’t change. Your hopes, dreams and expectations might change, but this is your daughter and you will continue to encourage and champion her. Hopefully, your hands are opening as you realize that you are not writing her story. Hopefully, God is drawing you near and you are trusting Him with this child, his child. Hopefully you are praying more than lecturing, fixing, or manipulating circumstances.
Then comes college and in many cases, sorority rush. Your daughter whom you have loved, disciplined, encouraged, taught and prayed for is ready. You have packed her suitcase full and it is now time for her to fly, but not before you get her through rush and into the sorority she should be in! Open your hands, Momma, and trust God. “If you then who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matt 7:11)
The process of sorority recruitment can be so much fun. Extroverted girls love moving from house to house, party to party, conversation to conversation. There is so much energy and excitement. Introverts look for opportunities to talk one-on-one with someone and take a deep breath between parties.
Then the sororities and the girls have to make choices. These choices are hard, especially because decisions are often based on things that are so superficial. What was so much fun one day is devastating just twenty-four hours later.
Remember, no matter what happens, what you know about God is still true. He has not changed. Your daughter is a child of the living God. His desire for your daughter is, among other things, her salvation, her sanctification, and her holiness. He has her in his righteous right hand. Zechariah reminds the Israelites in Chapter 13, “And I will put this third into the fire and refine them as one refines silver and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people;’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’
Know, trust and stand in the truth that our Heavenly Father will refine your daughter throughout her life. She may not have the good things that you imagined for her: happiness, good health, success, life without hardship, financial security. But know that God’s desire is that she draw near to Him, that she trust Him, that she glorify Him and that she proclaim His holy name. Whether she ends up in a sorority or remains independent, whether she ends up where she hoped to be or somewhere else, God is there. “’You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off’”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:9-10).
Mommas, pray with open hands for your daughters and trust God.