The Bible is clear that God’s will for our students is their sanctification (1 Thess. 4:3). One of the best definitions of sanctification comes from 2nd Corinthians 3:18. Paul writes, “We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” It is only by God’s grace, through the power of the Holy Spirit, that students are transformed from glory to glory.
As youth ministers, we have the privilege of seeing students move from one degree of glory to another. Church ministries often frame these degrees of glory along a set of life milestones, rather than in the biblical notion of sanctification. If we’re not careful, these milestones can become outcomes-based assessments of students as they grow.
Consider the following “milestones” and their assumed order:
- Birth
- Move from nursery to Children’s Ministry
- First VBS
- Altar call style salvation
- Catechism/Membership/Confirmation, baptism (depending on tradition)
- Getting sick of VBS
- Moving up to Youth Group
- That one camp that changed everything
- 15 or 16 years old
- Dating
- “Actual” salvation (according to testimonies later in life)
- Turning 18 years old
- Graduation
- College
- Marriage & moving out
- First full-time job
- First child
- First house
- Church involvement
- First grandchild
- Retirement
Cultural Shifts
Celebrating these events is not inherently problematic. Congregations, youth groups, and small groups should be actively involved in supporting one another as these new events occur. But notice how many of these milestones instantly eliminate your “progression” if you’re single, have no children, or live with your parents. We seem to have substituted the biblical notion of degrees of glory with the cultural notion of development across life stages.
Consider the cultural shifts taking place around us. College enrollment is shrinking dramatically, and trade schools and online degrees at home have become easier to pursue. Marriage rates and the age of first children has shifted as well. In some cultures, living with family is a means of supporting one another and is perceived as a cultural good. In other cultures, individual independence is the highest good, so it’s more valuable to live with 14 roommates in a three bedroom house.
A Gospel Issue
But at its heart, evaluating people along a model of life stages is a gospel issue. The gospel is the good news that we have been saved by grace. But it doesn’t end there! Sanctification, growing in grace, is the expected, inevitable outpouring of God’s grace to keep transforming us from one degree of glory to another. God’s love extends beyond our conversion and includes a continuous regeneration of our hearts to be fashioned more into his image. These are the gradations that define our progress in actual holiness. To substitute any other type of life stage a “spiritual progression” is to suggest another way of godliness that simply mirrors the American dream.
Consider how this plays out practically. Suppose you’ve moved to the last few stages from a cultural perspective, but your soul has remained unmoving, your anger unsolved, and your love of others thin. Have you really moved from one degree of glory to another? Or have you simply performed adequately according to cultural standards of success? Some 16-year-olds have moved from one degree of glory to another in ways that only their youth leaders or parents might have noticed. But if these same students don’t go to college and immediately get married and own a house, it may come across that they have “failed” in some way according to a cultural standard.
When milestones are a cause for celebration, they can help a church identify new needs and new methods of support. When milestones become a cause for comparison, they preach a false gospel of performance and failure to measure up. Milestones should promote God’s call for faithfulness and sanctification, regardless of where students fit on a sliding cultural scale.
A Gospel Scale
So how do we move forward if this framework is deeply embedded in our congregational ethos? First, and most importantly, don’t forget that the gospel is always available to those who feel they don’t measure up to the world’s (or their church’s, or their family’s) expectations of success. Some sanctification is painfully slow, while some growth seems to happen overnight. We as youth leaders have no control over that timeline.
If your students are struggling to measure up, remind them of the sufficiency of the life and ministry of Jesus. Tell them of the glories of his imputed righteousness, and the promise that God will be faithful to complete the work he has begun in them. Remind them that God’s completed work might not look like what they or their parents or their culture expects it to look like.
Subvert the Culture
Secondly, find tactful ways to subvert the culture. Celebrate, equip, and delight in the single, the childless, and the non-traditional students. Move your focus to the ways in which they’re already growing in grace and celebrate this growth. These celebrations may not be on the grand scale of a retirement party or a graduation, but they shouldn’t be ignored. If a middle school boy with explosive anger issues tells you that week that he left the room to cool down instead of punching his little brother, that’s one degree of glory to another. If a student failed a test because they were no longer willing to cheat, that’s one degree of glory to another. If your high schooler is genuinely trying to stop swearing and keeps making it halfway through a profanity before genuinely apologizing, that’s one degree of glory to another.
It’s not simply behavior modification, but the struggle and striving to be made into the image of their savior. These moments are worth commending either one-on-one or in a small group setting. Whether or not they ever buy a house or get married, they can grow in the confidence that they are growing in grace.
Language Check
Finally, be careful that you aren’t setting the agenda for ministries based solely on where students fit along the ladder of cultural milestones. Maybe you don’t need a parenting conference every year when it happens at the expense of other discipleship opportunities that meet the needs of the broader congregation. Consider what it means when you say you’re a “family church.” If your retired members feel like there’s nothing for them to do at your church anymore, prayerfully consider where they might be used for the good of the Kingdom. And when it comes to youth group, it may be that your messaging subtly suggests that the “good life” looks like achieving milestones. Instead, the goal should be sanctification and faithfulness according to God’s standard, regardless of where others have placed your students on an imagined ladder.
Mindful, Loving, and Encouraging
Perhaps our call to counter-cultural ministry looks like avoiding the temptation to base our success on cultural milestones, and to simply love one another along the way. The grace of Jesus should extend from us not only to areas of sin, but also to the shame our students may feel when they compare their stage to others seemingly far ahead. Jesus is willing to meet the needs of failed performers and downcast overachievers. Our ministries can reflect that same loving care by moving away from the idea of success as a ladder, toward the idea of loving the sheep in our care regardless of where they fall in line.
So be mindful, be loving, and be encouraging. Celebrate as your students move from one degree of actual, real, exciting glory to another.
Interested in learning more about gospel-centered youth ministry? Check out our Rooted Youth Ministry Podcast, hosted by Danny Kwon.
