I do not consider myself a Debbie Downer, but I can be a Melancholy Mom and a Petrified Parent. My bent toward sadness and fear comes from my experiences, and these emotions often spill into my parenting. Because I was a young adult when my parents died, I often parent as if my children will be orphaned and thus will need every life skill before they can even drive a car. We experienced a decade of infertility, so my expectations for hope deferred often outweigh my words of encouragement when my kids are taking a risk with a new sport, club, or skill. Being a breast cancer survivor, even after years of good health, can cause me to fear the worst with every rash, cough, fever, or bump.
Hymns and worship music have literally and figuratively been the instruments God frequently uses to pull me out of these places of anguish. In particular, Henry Van Dyke’s “Hymn of Joy.”
On a busy Sunday morning or particularly stressful day, singing the first verse, “…Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, Opening to the Sun above. Melt the clouds of sin and sadness, drive the dark of doubt away…” recalibrates my thoughts away from worry and back to God. It reminds me that I am not responsible for unfolding hearts or melting scary circumstances. I can gladly leave it all to the Son above, who bore the cross for our sin and amid his sadness. The third verse helps me the most as a parent:
Thou art giving and forgiving
ever blessing, ever blessed
well-spring of the joy of living
ocean-depth of happy rest.
Thou the Father, Christ our Brother,
All who live in love are Thine
Teach us how to love each other
lift us to the Joy Divine.
A Family Affair
The familial language in this verse reminds me that my husband and I are not alone in parenting. All we give, forgive, or teach our children is an overflow from the generosity, forgiveness, and knowledge we have experienced from God the Father and Christ our Brother. When sin and sadness, or my melancholy and fear, begin to feel as daunting as mowing the grass on the hottest day of the summer, Jesus provides springs of joy and oceans of rest for us to swim.
The familial language is repeated in the fourth and final verse, “Father-love is reigning over us, brother-love binds man to man.” But in this last verse, Van Dyke also writes about community: “join the mighty chorus” and “march we onward.” Through my parents’ death, my diagnosis, and the ups and downs of parenting, God has given us the support of our extended family, the church. Together we are “victors in the midst of strife, joyful music lifts us sunward in the triumph song of life.” Joyful, joyful we adore Thee is true both for my family of four and in God’s family.
Bunnies and Unbroken Praise
According to Wikipedia, Van Dyke was inspired to write these lyrics as a poem while serving as a guest preacher in the Berkshire Mountains. This is largely reflected in the hymn’s second verse, “…field and forest, vale and mountain, flowery meadow, flashing sea, chanting bird and flowing fountain, call us to rejoice in Thee.” The poem was then musically set to the famous “Ode to Joy” melody of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9.
Like the view outside Van Dyke’s window, our homes and churches begin to “reflect Thy rays” and become a “center of unbroken praise” when we live, work, and parent out of the truth that our lives have been carefully written by God and set to the melody of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.
This summer, the view outside our window has been a rabbit who regularly feasts on the grass in our backyard. We decided to name him Harold. Harold appeared 24-hours after I announced (complained) to two friends, “I feel like everyone in our neighborhood has a bunny except us. We have a perfect backyard for a bunny. I want a bunny.”
Then God gave us Harold. Harold visited every day during a week of anxiety-filled medical appointments. When the kids are arguing, I interrupt with, “Is Harold in the backyard?” The arguing stops and someone runs to the window. I point out that Harold is not a picky eater and happily shares the backyard with chipmunks and birds. If I am losing my temper, I take a deep breath and go look for Harold.
Harold’s life of eating, hopping, and perked-up ears has brought us much joy this summer. I did not have to buy Harold and I do not have to take care of Harold; he is a gift from God. He is a reminder that the Lord hears our cries, even for something as ridiculous as a backyard bunny, and that a life full of monotonous, repetitive behaviors (aka parenting) is often a pathway of blessing.
I have a God who cares about me enough to “drive the dark of doubt away”— doubt about my parenting, about my health, about God’s love – with an on-going visit from a wild rabbit just to comfort me in my sadness and teach me about my sin and his love for me. And that is worth singing about.
Interested in learning more about gospel-centered parenting? Join us November 2-4 for our Rooted Conference in Nashville, TN. We are offering a one-day ticket for parents for Saturday, November 4th.
