When I first became a grandfather, people would joke: “The good thing about grandkids is that you can give ’em back at the end of the day.”
I don’t feel that way. I love our grandchildren. We have eight of them. I’ve been tempted to make a joke about that old TV sitcom, “Eight is Enough,” but in truth, I’d take more if we could have them.
Grandchildren are God’s gift to us in our old age: “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children” (Prov. 17:6).
Changing Statistics
I was listening to a podcast recently and I heard Dr. Russell Moore comment that people are waiting longer and longer to get married, and then to have children.
I looked it up, and he’s exactly right.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1973, the median age of women marrying for the first time was 21, and for males, it was 23. By 2021, those ages had risen to 28 for women and 30 for men.
Not everyone waits until marriage to start having children, but it’s also noteworthy that the average age for first time mothers in America is up from 21 in 1980 to 27 now, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, while the average age of first-time fathers has increased from 27 to 31.
I’m not judging young people’s decisions to build careers and get established in a home before starting a family. But the unfortunate result of their waiting is that more and more children are growing up without knowing their grandparents.
And this is sad. Not only does it rob us grandparents of the joy of seeing our children’s offspring be born and develop their own personalities, but it deprives children of having grandparental influence in their lives.
The Role of the Grandparent
Pastor Tim Keller died recently. In an interview with Russell Moore of Christianity Today shortly before he died, Dr. Keller said he was ready. “I’m in my 70s. All of my children are Christians. I know and love my grandchildren. My wife loves me, and I love her. My kids love me, and I love them. My grandkids love me, and I love them. What do I have to complain about?”
Grandparents are important. President Jimmy Carter instituted Grandparents Day (September 10) in 1978 to call attention to that fact, and rightly so.
Grandparents have a God-ordained role to be a positive, Christlike example for their grandchildren. We don’t have to discipline them, but we do need to help disciple them – in cooperation with their parents, of course.
One call to teach our grandchildren comes from Deuteronomy 4:9: “Only be careful. And watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
Grandparents often feel that their role is to be a lovable, generous, indulgent old person in their grandchildren’s lives, kinda like Santa Claus. I’ve heard grandparents say, “My job is to spoil them – then let their parents deal with it later.”
I maintain, and the Bible backs this up, that grandparents are called to help teach their grandchildren — by word and example — what it is like to grow up loving the Lord and knowing him on a personal basis.
My first memory of attending church was sitting on a pew with my grandmother in a little Methodist church in my hometown of Jennings, Louisiana. My paternal grandparents died young, in their 50s, so I didn’t know them all that well. But that’s one memory that has stuck with me.
How many of you had one or more grandparents that were formative in your coming to faith in Christ?
Your Children’s Children
In Deuteronomy 6:1-2, Moses says that God’s plan is to teach everyone to observe his commands, decrees, and laws “so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.”
Moses’ hearers were to have God’s commandments “on [their] hearts,” and then to impress them on their children “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:7).
My wife, Linda, and I are grateful that Jesus Christ lived on earth, died, and was resurrected so that we might be reconciled to God and have eternal life in him. We were intentional about exposing our children to the gospel as they were growing up, and now we’re sharing our faith with our grandchildren. We strive to do that by telling Bible stories, quoting Scripture, praying before meals, and talking about Jesus.
All those things are not just our responsibilities as grandparents, but they also bring us so much joy and satisfaction as we see our family members drawing closer and closer to God.
The psalmist describes this joy: “But from everlasting to everlasting, the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children” (Ps. 103:17).
Amen.
Interested in learning more about gospel-centered parenting? Check out our current Rooted Parent Podcast season: Parenting, Technology, and the Truth.
